Author: Fallen Angel
Title: Confession I
Pairings: M/K
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Series: Confessions

Summary: Fox confesses to love Alex and the moon is the only witness... Wait, there's somebody else...

Author Notes: I thought I would have turned my back on writing slash forever. But somehow I just cannot stop it. For what reason? To name some: Lissa (for holding my hand in the darkness and being such an enchanting person), Lone Gungirl (for encouraging me always), Araxdelan (for asking me to appear on her site), Sabeth (for pushing me forward again and again) and finally Alex and Mulder (for being the most irresistible couple). Thank you all.

Feedback: Kristina.Mann@t-online.de
Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/Araxdelan/angel/angel.html


~~~ Confession I ~~~
by Fallen Angel

The night was incredibly hot - maybe the hottest of the year. And not the slightest breeze was blowing, hence it was utterly silent, even the dancing leaves' usual rustling was missing. The park was completely deserted and the only sound came from some lonely crickets which were singing their bittersweet dirges.

While sticky fog was heavily tumbling down to the ground, the leathered man cautiously sneaked around the trees. He confidently hid behind the densely leafed branches and his gaze turned towards the human silhouette which slowly approached. The observer held his breath - afraid of being discovered, while the silhouette walked towards a small clearing and gingerly sat down to sink into the smooth bed of moss. As soon as the shadowy contour began to stretch his limbs, the moon left its cloudy cache to illuminate the idyllic scene. The pale light painted a silvery glimmer on the outlined man's skin and blinked reflecting in his hazel eyes. Fox Mulder lifted his head towards the shining orb.

Not far away Alex Krycek, the mute observer, stepped back to avoid the moonlight and regarded Fox's elegant gestures furtively.

Not knowing that he was being watched and still turned to the moon, Fox started to speak with silent voice. "Good night, my secret companion.", he murmured with a smile.

For a split second the thought of being discovered rushed through Alex's brain. Frightened he stood paralysed, waiting for the other man to turn his head towards him. But Fox kept his eyes focussed on the dark night-sky. "It's been a long time since I've been talking to you the last time, I know. Got a bit distracted by work. I know, I don't have to apologise... But now I need you. Maybe more than I ever did."

/He's talking to the moon!/, Alex whispered to himself trying hard not to start giggling. Carefully he pricked up his ears to catch every single word.

"I need somebody to listen to me. And there's just nobody I can trust. Of course, there's Scully, but... I guess what I have to say would be too much. It's a bit... let's say... ticklish." The moon smiled warmly. "There's somebody. I was thinking about it for a long time, and I'm still not quite sure, but I guess I fell in love with..."

Surprised by the expected confession, Alex inadvertently stroke a bunch of twigs causing a slight rustling sound. Fox turned his head towards Alex's direction. The man in leather stood lamed, his heart speeding in his chest. Alex almost felt the other man's breath cutting the sticky air, when Fox's eyes began to scan the area. When the hazel eyes were about to meet the green ones which were lurking behind wavering leaves, the moon suddenly slid into a mantle of clouds and the park was immediately folded in darkness. Alex sighed in relief, when Fox continued his speech as soon as his pale addressee had reappeared.

"I think, I fell in love with a damn betraying, lying and murdering asshole..."

Alex's heart stopped beating for a second. He could not believe what he had just heard. Waiting for Fox to verify his words by pronouncing his name, he leant his back at a tree expecting his knees to give or maybe even to faint.

"You know him. He's like you - a creature of the night..."

Alex was not able to stand any more and his body was only held upright by the tree. He had to hear his name now, he had to know if it was true.

"It's Alex Krycek...."

The younger man stumbled backwards bumping his head against a branch, but the shivers all over his body did not allow any pain to be felt. He remained quiet for few seconds until he found his balance again, then he quickly slid behind the tree to hide. But Fox did not hear the least noise. All his attention was drawn to the sky.

"D'you understand me now? That I can't talk to no one bout that? I mean, I can't even understand it... After all he's done to me. But you even know better than me what he did..." The moon nodded in mute agreement. "My wan confidant... my dreamland's master, could you do me a favour?" Fox's voice asked a bit doubtfully. "I mean, I know that you *can*, but will you *do*?"

/Uh, I always knew he was insane, but I've never imagined how much!/, Alex smiled, gazed wondering at the pale orb in the sky and indeed fancied the moon to smile.

Fox muttered imploringly: "Let me dream of him. Help me to feel him close."

Suddenly the moon enforced his light, gathered all his scattered thin rays to a single beam pointing like a silvery spotlight at Fox who closed his eyes and sank smoothly deeper into the yielding moss. His breath was calm and relaxed almost as if he was in trance when he slowly fell asleep. Quietly Alex tiptoed out of his cache towards the sleeping man to bent over him and watch the well-proportioned chest moving up and down rhythmically. Fox's skin shimmered like golden velvet in the moonlight and Alex was not able to turn his gaze away from the beautiful man lying at his feet. He knelt down so close that he even felt the heat Fox's body was emitting. Alex reached out his hand and carefully stroke the chestnut hair. "I'm here, Fox."

The slim body in its mossy bed began to tremble with the touch of Alex's hand and Fox moaned slightly. Alex let his fingers slide down the smooth cheek towards these seducing lips. He outlined the full lower lip with his fingertip and Fox opened his mouth a bit to mumble drowsily. "Alex...?"

Yet, Fox was interrupted by gentle lips which now closed his mouth with a tender kiss. He savoured the taste of the mouth he was slowly melting into. A strange mixture of coffee and peppermint... and Alex. Fox's tongue gently dipped deeper into this wonderful taste, yearning for more. Dancing tongues entwining passionately in damp caves, licking pearly teeth, slightly biting soft lips... Fox could not get enough of this lustful play.

It felt so real... as if the man he wanted so much in secret was actually there, kissing him again and again, causing these electric tickles all over his skin. Alex withdrew a bit, afraid his kisses could disturb his love's dreamy slumber. He watched the sleeping body - so seductively beautiful and shivering with lust, with eyes still closed and moreover longing for the lover's warm caressing lips to reoccupy his mouth.

Instead of on his mouth, Alex began to blow dainty kisses on Fox's velvety cheek, then the younger man's tongue wandered down - slightly brushing the curves of these full lips, gliding past the dreamer's chin to flicker over his throat's diaphanous skin.

Fox's body was unbelievably responsive for even the slightest touch this tongue was yielding, his whole body was quivering and winding and he was breathing with passionate moans. With uncountable kisses Alex's skilful lips wandered back towards the alluring mouth which was exhaling gasping breaths. Enhancing lust gathered in one incomparable kiss. Melting into one unity, the two men were lying under a carpet of stars, their tongues twisting, their lips seizing each other until their breaths' rhythms assimilated. Then, dizzy and exhausted with passion the men nestled to each other. The world around them seemed to stop turning and only the moon witnessed the peaceful scenery.

Suddenly the cry of an eagle-owl called Alex back to reality. He gingerly withdrew from the sleeping beauty, but - unable to leave - he remained unmoving for an instant, watching the splendid moonlight striking the dreaming man's face like his lips had did before. Unwillingly Alex finally turned away, sent a last grateful smile to the moon and dived back into the night's darkness.

Gradually Fox left dreamland to awake from his slumber. He opened his eyes drowsily, still savouring the taste of Alex on his lips. Turning his gaze to the moon, he whispered: "Thank you, companion. Thank you for the wonderful dream." Still a bit dizzy, he stood up, stretched his limbs and left the clearing.

The night was still hot and not the slightest breeze was blowing. It was still utterly silent and the park was completely deserted again. And still the lonely crickets were singing their bittersweet dirges. The only perceivable change were the different footprints the two lovers had left in the squashy and mossy soil.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[The End]

 


 

Author: Fallen Angel
Title: Confession II
Pairings: M/K
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Series: Confessions
Sequel To: Confession I

Summary: Fox meets sleeping Alex...

Author Notes: Thank-you's go to all those of you who asked me to continue the story. My boundless gratitude goes to Lissa, Lone Gungirl, Sabeth, Araxdelan and Lauryn. Thank you all for your steady support, encouragement, patience and inspiration.

Feedback: Kristina.Mann@t-online.de
Webpage: http://www.members.tripod.com/Araxdelan/angel/angel.html


~ Confession II ~
by Fallen Angel

"...I need some distraction / oh beautiful release. / Memory seeps from my veins, / let me be empty / and weightless then maybe / I'll find some peace tonight //
In the arms of the Angel / fly away from here, / from this dark cold hotel room / and the endlessness that you fear. / You are pulled from the wreckage / of your silent reverie. / You're in the arms of the Angel, / may you find some comfort here. //
...and everywhere you turn / there's vultures and thieves at your back. / And the storm keeps on twisting, / you keep on building the lies / that you make up for all that you lack... //
In the arms of the Angel / fly away from here, / from this dark cold hotel room..."

~ excerpt from the song 'Angel' written and performed by Sarah McLachlan

--------------------------------------------------

Outside the rain flooded the streets beneath the low sky, covered with black clouds. Somewhere in the dark, hasty steps were crunching on the gravely gateway of the motel. Dripping through red neon light, raindrops were knocking on the half-closed window, begging for admission to carry the sounds of dreary dreams to drowsy ears. Tiny night-fairies were dancing their rondos in silvery robes passing beige curtains which were streaming in the wet breeze that slowly crept into the paltry room, while staring electric bulbs prohibited cosiness to surface the drab walls.

The sleepy man's eyes followed tiresomely the ceiling's bitter smokeline and finally rested on the grey carpet's faded design. The colours blurred and the man's body twisted to get rid of his leather jacket. Slowly he got up and headed for the window to inhale the chilly air. The pale moon loitered behind the sticky clouds, sending some sporadic rays towards the green eyes - rays which carried memories of a night some weeks ago. A night Alex Krycek could not forget.

Behind the dim wall on his left a man was murmuring constantly, praying the gospel according to Johnny Walker. Alex could hear the man pacing around nervously. The room on his right was strangely silent - Alex had expected to hear the usual gasps of lovers, a crying baby or at least a quarrelling married couple. But there was no sound, even when he pressed his ear against the wall he could not notice any noise.

The tall man stepped back to the window, scanning the area and trying to verify the strong suspect that he had been followed here. But the gateway was empty and the streets were deserted besides some hookers who were strolling along the dripping sidewalk.

Relieved, Alex sat down on the smelly mattress, stripped his sweaty shirt and stretched his limbs drowsily.

"I haven't slept for months." He said to himself, rubbing his slightly swollen eyes. "Always alert, always tense.... and my thoughts always with him... So Fox Mulder loves me. I shouldn't care at all. I shouldn't... He's in the other team, one of the good guys. But I can't help... I guess I'm in love..."

Alex fell on the bed and stared at the ceiling again as if some answers were hanging up there. But there were no answers. Instead, the chaps in the crumbly plastering reminded him of... of what? Of his torn identity? Of his wasted life?

"Damn! I shouldn't have kissed him... But I just couldn't resist..."

His voice sounded lower as usual and a bit muffled through the thin carton wall which separated Alex from the cautious eavesdropper. Fox Mulder thoroughly pressed his ear against the filthy tapestry to catch every word his neighbour was mumbling.

Alex was still lying on the bed in his shabby motel room, but his thoughts were aeons away.

"I could simply tell him that I return his feelings...", but the sleepy man turned round and quickly pushed this thought away. The wallpaper's reflection slowly faded and blurred in the emerald eyes and thick eyelashes were cast down wearily. Few seconds later, Alex was breathing calmly, lulled by the steady prayers from the bottom of his boozy neighbour's soul.

Fox noticed the sudden silence on the wall's other side. Silently he slunk out of his motel room and stepped towards the window next door. He cautiously pulled away the beige curtain and glanced inside. Alex way lying on the mattress, curled up, he looked like a straying cat which had finally found a warm place to sleep.

It was still raining and within seconds Fox was out-and-out drenched. Though, he remained, looking at the enticing man and listening to his peaceful breathing. He stood spellbound, tracing the outlines of the sleeping figure and almost forgot to breathe. Hazel eyes watched the twisting body when Alex turned round to lay on his back.

Thick raindrops were dripping from his eyelashes, from his nose and from the strands of his hair. It was cold, he knew. And Cold was beginning to seize his ankles to creep up his legs, but he did not care. Time seemed to stop ticking and the night-fairies intermitted their dances. The dim glimmer of a streetlight slid slightly over the sleeper's chest and drew fairy shadows on it which were floating up and down with every breath.

Fox was not able to resist and cautiously climbed through the window, sneaked towards the resting creature leaving wet footprints on the carpet. He knelt down carefully. His hazel eyes scanned every inch of the beauty spread before him, every vein, every sinew and every muscle he memorised.

Alex's eyelids trembled, as if he was deeply buried in dreams, when Fox gingerly reached out his hand to touch the alluring body's softness. His fingertips circled from the shoulder past the small dent above the collar-bone. The sleeper moaned slightly when Fox's fingers reached his neck, slowly orbiting his Adam's apple and causing these tickles which haunted every fibre of his body.

In the gloomy room the revery's golden-like skin was seductively glinting, when Fox directed his slim hands leisurely downwards to the silken nipples, encircling them with gently strokes. The sleeping man was winding and bending beneath the soft caresses, still fast asleep.

Fox lowered his head and began to brush with his lips over the hardened nipples, softly biting and licking the responsive skin. Alex gasped and moaned throatily, parted his lips, his breath accelerating.

The lover could not restrain the growing passion any more, thus he kissed the dreamer's delicate mouth, feverishly conquering the damp cave. Hot tongues met, hunting each other, lips slightly biting and sucking, Fox was captured by a vortex of lust, luring him deeper and deeper into the kiss. Melting into the sleeping beauty, he inhaled his male scent - sweat, petty traces of after shave and Alex, so much of Alex.

His mind became dizzy and his hazel eyes were glistening with fascination as he watched his love lying before him, disposed in all his gloriousness, solely for him. Fox withdrew a bit to savour the angelic vision. Somehow Alex felt his absence, missed the heat of his lover's body, the warm wetness of the coat Fox was still wearing and the sleeping man's body bowed and curved, longing for a touch.

Fox let his hands slide through his love's short hair, relishing the silken sensation. Suddenly Alex's arms gripped the other man's neck, pulling him closer into a tender embrace. Fox allowed his body to follow, to fall into this arms. He was sure they would catch him, protect him. So he closed his eyes and leant his head against his love's shoulder listening to Alex's heartbeat. The rain seemed to cease for a moment and the wind's howling silenced.

Fox felt weightless, carried away. Far away from this gloomy motel room, from all the barricades he knew they would have to step over. Only Alex and him. The night-elves enveloped the lovers in their innocent veils and embraced them with sweet lullabies. Drowning in his reverie, folded in the arms of his angel Fox was saved.

But their peace was abruptly disturbed by the first slight shade of orange which began to spread his hue throughout the blackish sky, announcing the early break of dawn. Trying hard to drown the pattering of raindrops, the night-fairies began to ring their golden bells, proclaiming the end of the night and warning the nightly creatures to vanish quickly.

Fox knew he had to leave now. He gingerly loosened the tender embrace, glanced at his beautiful angel the last time, blew a last fragile kiss on the dreamer's forehead and sneaked out of the room.

Alex slowly came to, leaving his dreaming behind. Dreaming of Fox. Drowsily he rubbed his eyes. "I have to tell him... I will tell him...", he murmured thoughtfully, "Maybe tomorrow..." And with a deep yawn he turned round to fall asleep again.

Outside the rain flooded the streets beneath the low sky, covered with black clouds. Somewhere in the dark, hasty steps were crunching on the gravely gateway of the motel. Dropping through red neon light, raindrops were knocking on the half-closed window, begging for admission to carry the sounds of dreary dreams to drowsy ears. Tiny night-fairies were dancing their rondos in silvery robes passing beige curtains which were streaming in the wet breeze that slowly crept into the paltry room, while staring electric bulbs prohibited cosiness to surface the drab walls. But still, the damp footprints on the carpet seemed to emit lovely memories which started to fill the room with a slight, hardly perceivable, splendour... covering the angel's sleep.

 


 

Author: Fallen Angel
Title: Confession III
Pairings: M/K
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Series: Confessions
Sequel To: Confession II

Summary: Finally both they are awake...

Author Notes: This is for all those of you who wanted a happy end for the boys. I hope you're content with it. Also dedicated to Lissa, Lone Gungirl, Sabeth and Araxdelan. Thank you for just being there always, sweeties. There has been no beta for the story, so all the mistakes are mine.

Feedback: Kristina.Mann@t-online.de
Webpage: http://www.members.tripod.com/Araxdelan/angel/angel.html


~ Confession III ~

"...I wander all night in my vision,/Stepping with light feet, swiftly and noiselessly stepping and stopping,/ Bending with open eyes over the shut eyes of sleepers,/Wandering and confused, lost to myself, ill-assorted, contradictory,/Pausing, gazing, bending, and stopping./How solemn they look there,/stretch'd and still,/How quiet they breathe...//...The night pervades them and infolds them..."
~ Excerpt from "The Sleepers" by Walt Whitman

Slowly, dusk was covering the town with its dim silence. A slight veil of fog enfolded the area and wrapped the city in cloudy sheets. The sun was lurking near the horizon, filling the sky with a pink-reddish glimmer which was gradually fading to purplish indigo. The last note of the birds' melody died away and the few passers-by perceptibly dispersed. The moon began to creep out of his cache and shyly appeared with his silvery smile, convoking the fragile night-elves whose tinkling bells were glittering in the day's last sunbeams.

The lissom silhouette was skulking behind the window, his face slightly illuminated by the dimly bluish aquarium lamp. The sun gently kissed the elves good-night and dipped into nowhere, while Alex Krycek closed his green eyes a bit, enjoying the upcoming nightly silence. As soon as darkness had enveloped the neighbourhood, the shadowy man quickly slipped along the wall, melting into the shadows as usual. Cautiously he hid in the corner of the room and waited.

The slim man's coat was streaming in the soft breeze and his steps were faintly splashing in the muddy puddles last night's rain had left. The closer he came to the building, the more hesitating became his steps. Finally he was there. Apartment 42.

Within seconds, Fox Mulder unlocked the door and entered the dark room. He shut the door and gingerly leant against it. Exhausted, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It had been a long day. Too much work. Fox slowly trotted to the window and looked into the dark night sky. The moon smiled at the tired man, timidly hiding behind a dense cloud. The shadowy witness had not been discovered yet, still lingering in the dark, tensed, holding his breath.

But Fox, continually facing the pale orb, sighed tiredly. "I wish he was here. You know who I mean. I wish he knew... I wish I could tell him... I wish he could remember that night when he was mine."

Alex pressed his body against the wall as hard as he could, every muscle stretched, listening closely to these words which echoed like velvety whispers in his ears. The moon was curiously watching the scene and the tiny night-elves gathered giggling adjacent to the window, looking inside with glinting eyes - the distance between the two men nothing more than a single breath.

"What would you tell him if he was here?"

The voice seemed to come out of the nowhere. Fox felt that it was *his* voice. Whispery, slightly husky. Quivering, Alex cast down his eyes, waiting for his opponent to break the hush. But Fox silenced, standing paralysed. He did not want to turn around, afraid it could be only a dream again, just a mirage his weary mind was creating.

"What would you tell him?"

Again. It had to be true. And how Fox wanted this to be true. Still unable to believe what was happening, he closed his eyes, a sole tear glinting on his smooth cheek.

"I would... I'd tell him that I love him...," his voice was trembling, eyes still closed.

Alex left the darkness and stepped behind the other man. Fox could feel the warm body in his back, the nervous breathing in his neck, savouring the illusion.

"I..." Alex swallowed shyly. "...I know."

These words, caressing Fox's skin and slowly entering his ear, spread their warmth all over. Alex reached out a shivering hand, gently touching his love's shoulder. Heat waves flashed through Fox's body and he slowly felt his mind become dizzy, his body trembling the world around him to fade away, when suddenly a strong embrace caught his yielding body.

The two men stood there, bodies entwined in a tight embrace, dipping into the room's darkness which was only pettily lightened by the silvery moon-rays casting through the window. Gingerly, Fox turned around, searching his love's emerald eyes. He felt as if he was drowning in them and he could not turn away, revelling the iridescent glimmers the marbled moon was painting in them.

The warm shadow-hand brushed over Fox's cheek, drawing small circles around his chin and finally rested on his soft lips. Overfilled with longing, the lovers reeled into a tender kiss, their tongues hesitatingly meeting and capturing each other.

The night poured its black scent in waves of sticky air over the scene, when the men slowly sank on the couch. Their bodies glowing with lust, their tongues were dancing, circling each other like licking flames. Trembling hands clumsily undressed each other and Alex let his hand slide over his beautiful lover's chest. With every touch Fox's senses gradually revived, his back arching and his fingers stroking his love's enthralling body.

Their hot damp breaths' rhythm assimilating, shivering the two men cast down their eyes. Alex's body, as naked as his life, surrendered to the short time he was allowed to spend with his love, was quaking with every gasp the hazel-eyed beauty exhaled. When the lover's kisses, their passions reached their climax, the nights' spirit nestled to the comely couple, softly enveloping them with satiny veils of harmony. With a last kiss, Alex sealed his love, tightly embraced his beauty and both they fell asleep.

The night-elves stole some silver-moon-rays, plaiting them around the sleepers, softly caressing them with their dainty wings. The moon glinted with a shimmery smile, lighting the stars' maybelline eyes. While these night-watchers revelled in the peaceful atmosphere, enjoying the darkness, the quiet sleepers were huddling up skin against skin, melting into each other. Two souls were spreading in silent reveries, feeling safe finally, at last as if nobody could harm them any more.

Fox knew that this feeling could not last forever. He knew that Alex would leave again. So he instinctively held his love tighter, as if he could prevent him from running away. Fox nestled his head against Alex's chest, carried homeward by his lover's calm breath. Then, soothed by the elves sweet rondos, he faded away to dreamland.

But gradually the stars, pale with fear, began to flee and dawn's glowing eye was staring closer and closer. The elves vanished into their dark caves and the moon kissed the lover's goodbye, when the morning's reddish glimmer slowly filled the room.

Drowsily, Fox opened his eyes. He felt the cold emptiness of the abandoned place next to him. Still smelling the scent Alex had left on the couch, Fox noticed slight tears filling his eyes.

"So he has gone. I knew he would be gone.", he said to himself. "I tell him that I love him and he leaves me again."

"Who left you?"

The voice was soft and calm. That familiar tone which made Fox shiver everywhere.

Alex stood there in the doorway with a cup of tea in his hands. He smiled warmly and his eyes sparkled in the golden, warm morning sun. It was the most beautiful smile Fox had ever seen. Especially on the face he loved so much. Fox sprung up and stormily embraced his love, the cup dropped, spilling tea all over the floor. But the lovers, melting dizzily into a kiss, they just did not care.