Just One Look

by Courtney Gray

[Story Headers]

Eyes are the windows to the soul. * What maudlin asshole said that? You know what people see in mine? Nothing I don't want them to, that's what. Most of my life I've had to hide everything I know, everything I want, everything I am. I live in the shadows in more ways than one. Oh, it helps that no one ever really wanted to know me. Well, not beyond the pretty packaging at any rate. No vanity there, just the truth. I've been told too many times not to believe it. And it's been very useful. When you're young and ambitious and good-looking, and you've got some rich and powerful old men salivating for your ass, you'd be amazed how much you can learn, how much you can get. There are pitfalls, of course, but that's part of the game, the gamble. Survival of the fittest, baby. Nobody makes it out without scars. Especially when you make the wrong choices. Sometimes it's just too late to turn back.

I couldn't make it right, not all of it, not even most of it. I tried. Like a fucking idiot, I tried. It made a difference...in the end. We're still alive and the Conspiracy is dead and gone, after all.

He says he knows me. Crazy smug bastard. Well, he's the only one who tried. Damn him.

"I won't let you run away, not again. You know how obstinate I can be when I put my mind to it."

I can hear that shit-eating grin in his voice. I start blinking. I keep my head down. "It'll never work. I want you to go away, Mulder."

"There's only one way you'll convince me."

My heart starts going triple time. He's so close. I realize I won't be able to hide, not from him. I never could. Still, I try to keep my eyes on the ground for a few seconds more as I feel his fingers gently brushing the side of my face.

"Look at me, Alex," he whispers.

The End

*The earliest source of this quote is from Cicero (106-43 B.C.). It's also found later in the Bible (Matthew 6 22-23).


 

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Title:  Just One Look
Author:  Courtney Gray   [email/website]
Details:  Standalone  |  PG-13  |  1k  |  03/06/10
Pairings:  Mulder/Krycek
Category:  Vignette
Summary:  The eyes have it.


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