Hours In-Between, The
by Lady Midath
Lady Midath's Fan Fiction
Disclaimer: I do not own any of them, gee I wish I did sigh
Fandom: X Files
Rating: NC17 for angst, m/m sex, mention of past child abuse. If this squicks you please do not read on
Spoilers: Please assume all episodes
Summary: What happens after Mulder rescues Alex from the silo
Archive: Most certainly, to FHSA, CKoS, WWOMB DITB, RATB, RATails, AURA, have I missed anybody? Oh, and to anyone else out there that might like it. :-)
This is a sequel to Hush
This story is dedicated to my very good friend Bianca
Thank you to Amy for checking my p's and q's
This is told from Alex Krycek's POV
Light, that was the first thing that I saw. Good clean pure sunlight. I lifted my head up, letting it warm my face. Good it felt so good.
"Hold still Alex, we are nearly there."
With a sigh, I let my head fall back down, bumping against Mulder's lower back as he carried me out of the silo and over to where his car was parked.
I felt him fumble in the pocket of his jeans, pulling his carkeys out to unlock the passenger door. Once he had me stowed away safely in the seat, he hurried around to the driver's side and folded his long frame behind the steering wheel.
"It's okay now Alex, I'm going to take you straight to the hospital."
"No." I croaked out, my voice was a sandpapery whisper. "No hospital."
"But Alex..." Mulder began to argue but stubbornly I shook my head.
"They'll find me in a hospital, kill me..." I let the sentence trail off, I was far too weak to hold a sustained conversation, let alone an argument. Mulder glanced over at me, I could see the concern in that look and strangely enough, it touched me.
"Alex you need medical help." He replied.
"Some food and water and I'll be just fine." I told him. Another dubious look, then finally he nodded.
"I'll take you back to my place." With that, he started the car and soon we were heading back towards Washington DC and to his apartment.
I was not sure how long I had slept for, a few hours at least. Slowly I opened my eyes to find us turning into the parking garage at Mulder's apartment block.
"Alex, we're home." Mulder said softly. Slowly I turned my head to look at him. I wanted to thank him but my voice had all but given out on me. Severe dehydration and a throat swollen from hours and days of screaming for help had finally taken their toll. I gave him a smile and incredibly, he smiled back.
"Let's get you upstairs." He said as he opened his car door.
Half lifting and half dragging me, Mulder managed to get me into the elevator. I leaned against him heavily, my legs trembling beneath me like a new born colt's.
Together we waited as the elevator made it's way up to his apartment, the smell emanating from the filthy clothes that I wore tainting the air, making it hard to breath.
Mulder didn't complain though, if anything he held me tighter against him. Finally the door slid open and with his arm around my waist, he managed to get me into his apartment.
Carefully he lowered me onto the couch, handling me as though I were made of spun glass.
"I'll heat up some soup." Mulder said, hurrying into the kitchen. With a sigh, I allowed my head to fall back against the back of the chair, listening to the gentle sounds of Mulder's fishtank as the air filter bubbled away. I listened as Mulder moved around his small untidy kitchen, opening and closing cupboard doors, taking things down from the shelves.
"Here, drink this." I opened my eyes once more. Mulder was standing in front of me, a glass of water in his hand. Gratefully I took it. Lifting it to my parched lips, I gulped it down, spluttering in my haste to swallow it. The cool liquid was like manna from heaven.
"Do you want some more?" Mulder asked, I shook my head. Mulder took the glass off me, his fingers brushing the back of my hand accidentally.
"I have some chicken noodle soup heating up." He told me awkwardly. "It should be ready soon."
I nodded, too exhausted to speak. I watched as Mulder returned to the kitchen.
Soon I could smell something delicious, it was the soup. The scent of it wafting from the kitchen was enough to wake my stomach back up again, turning it into a ravening beast.
Mulder carried a bowl carefully between his hands, setting it down in front of me on the coffee table.
"I'll help you." Mulder said gently. He lifted a spoonful of soup to my quivering mouth. Swallowing it down, the soup hit my stomach and I shuddered.
"Alex, are you okay?" he asked, his voice tinged with worry now.
"Yes." I replied impatiently. "Can I have some more please." I asked him, sounding all the world like Oliver Twist.
"Oh, of course." Mulder lifted the spoon to my lips again and before we knew it, the bowl was empty.
A wonderful warmth settled into my stomach giving me a contented glow. "I'll make some more later on." I heard Mulder tell me, his voice soft but clear in the quiet of his flat.
"Right now though, I think you could do with a bath." I saw the way his nose wrinkled as he spoke and despite my poor tortured throat, I chuckled.
"I can't say that I disagree." I replied. "But if you want me in the tub, then you are going to have to help me up out of this chair."
"Not a problem Alex." As gently as he could, Mulder lifted me out of the easy chair and helped me into the bathroom. To weak to stand, I sank down onto the toilet seat, watching as Mulder quickly filled the bathtub.
"Okay Alex, in you go."
Lifting me up once more, Mulder helped me to take my things off, or rather, he undressed me while I leaned against him, feeling too sick and dizzy to move.
Carefully he peeled the filth encrusted clothes off me, dropping them into a pile onto the floor. Then picking me up as though I were an infant, Mulder lowered me into the steaming hot water.
"Oh god." I heard myself moan in sheer ecstasy. I could feel the hot scented water as it swirled up around my chin.
Now let's do something about getting some of that crud off you." Mulder said as he grabbed the soap and a loofah from off the shelf above my head.
Many minutes later, I was finally scrubbed clean of all the dirt and shit and piss, not to mention the residue of the black oil. It took three thorough shampooings to clean my long tangled hair and a good dollop of conditioner to try and smooth out the knots and snarls.
"Now for the piece de resistance." Mulder joked as he held up a razor. My eyes widened a little, but Mulder was as gentle as a lamb. Taking the greatest of care, he lathered my face and then drew the razor across the sensitive skin.
I had never been shaved like this before and as much as I hated to admit it, I was finding the whole process very relaxing, almost sensual.
The feel of Mulder's fingers as he moved my head slightly, the warmth of his very proximity...any other time and I would have been sporting a hard on by now. At any other time.
"There, all finished." Mulder announced, stepping back to admire his handiwork.
I opened my eyes and smiled at him as he replaced the razor, then with a grin, he handed me a toothbrush.
"It's okay Alex, it's a spare."
I reached up and accepted the toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. "Thanks." I told him.
Mulder shrugged. "Think nothing of it." I could hear under the feigned nonchalance, something else. Something that I could not quite put my finger on..
Suddenly Mulder bent down to retrieve the pile of stinking clothes. "I'll put these through the wash." He said briskly. "But I can't promise that I can get them clean enough for you to be able to wear again though."
"It's okay." I replied. "I can always get more clothes."
Mulder glanced at me. "In the meantime, you can wear some of mine."
I watched as he carried the clothes out, to put them through the washing machine I presumed. Presently he returned with an armful of clothes for me to wear. Clean boxers, a t-shirt and sweat pants and a pullover.
After helping me out of the tub, Mulder dried and dressed me. To be clean and warm and dry again, this was bliss, utter paradise.
Back out in the livingroom once more, Mulder heated up some more soup, adding some dry toast to it this time as well.
My stomach woke up once more, this time the soup and toast taming it nicely. More water, cold and fresh. Before I knew it, I was feeling like a human being again.
"Is there anything else you need?" Mulder asked as he lowered himself beside me on the couch.
I shook my head, feeling warm and comfortable and drowsy all at the same time. "I'm fine now Mulder, really." I gave him a smile and once again to my surprise, he smiled back.
"Do you want to tell me what happened back there, when you were locked in the silo?" The smile had disappeared now and I found myself gazing into a pair of hazel eyes that were filled with concern. Concern for me of all people, Alex Krycek assassin extrordinaire.
I sighed and looked down at my one good hand that rested on my lap. "There's not that much to tell." I replied reluctantly. "All I can remember is kneeling on some damned spaceship while the black oil seeped out of me and into it. I can remember feeling scared and alone. The Smoking Man had left me there to die."
I lifted my face up in time to see a look of rage so black on Mulder's face that for a moment, it frightened me.
"So he did leave you in there." He muttered darkly. "I thought so, the black lunged son of a bitch."
"And you were the one that got me out." I replied softly. "My handsome prince."
Mulder glanced up at me, a quizzical look on his face. Blushing furiously, I realized what I had just said.
Embarrassed at my stupid slip, I nodded. Mulder chuckled. "What make you think I'm so handsome?"
I stared at him. "What makes you think you're not?"
He tapped the side of his nose with his finger. "Well, this for a start."
I grinned at him. "It simply adds character to your face." I replied.
That managed to draw a laugh out of him.
"Okay, I'll take you word for it." Mulder replied with a chuckle. Then he sobered. "I can't believe that Spender could leave you in that place to die like that."
I shrugged. "What's so hard to believe Mulder. Spender, like all of those Consortium bastards are evil, greedy and completely amoral sons of bitches. Christ, there's not one of them that wouldn't sell their own mother to the aliens to further their own cause."
Mulder sighed and shook his head. "Let's not talk about this anymore Alex." He said softly. "You look completely done in. I think the best thing for you right now is rest."
I nodded, he was right, I was feeling completely done in. Once again, Mulder came to the rescue and helped me into his bedroom. Lowering me onto the bed, he pulled the covers back and settled me against the pillows.
"I'll sleep on the couch tonight." He said. Reaching up, I grabbed his arm.
"No Mulder, please don't leave me." I found myself begging him. "Please, I don't want to be on my own." I could hear the sniveling fear in my voice and as much as I despised it, I could not help it either. I simply could not bear to be left in the dark alone.
Mulder hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Okay Alex." He replied to my relief. "I'll stay."
*//Hush Lexi hush. Don't cry my baby. Please don't cry, you know what he will do if he hears you...//*
My eyes opened and I found myself staring into the darkness. I'm back in the silo again. The thought chilled me too the bone. All alone in the dark, the cold. Shaking like a leaf, I sat bolt upright, the quilt falling from my chest.
"Mama! Mama, where are you?"
Mulder sat up from beside me, his sleep mussed hair sticking up in odd angles. "Alex, what's wrong?"
"Mama, please get me out!" I yelled, then stopped, finally realizing where I was.
"Alex, are you okay?"
I blinked owlishly as a light came on. Mulder had switched on the bedside lamp. He was staring at me now, his eyes wide with worry. "Alex?"
"The silo." I stammered. "I woke up and it was dark and I could hear my Mama. She was talking to me, whispering, she was telling me to be quiet or else he would hear me..."
"Or else who would hear you?" Mulder asked.
Helplessly I shook my head. "My father."
Mulder frowned, I could see the confusion on his face now.
"You were scared that your father would hear you?" He asked.
I nodded, biting back the tears that were threatening to spill over.
"But why Alex?"
Swallowing hard, I answered, hearing the tremor in my voice. "My father was a drunk." I began. Mulder nodded, encouraging me to go on.
"He used to get drunk and beat me and my mother. Sometimes if I had really pissed him off, he would lock me in this old coal cellar that we had. Sometimes I would be in there for a couple of days."
"Jesus." Mulder whispered, sounding sick. "Why didn't your mother do something to stop him?"
I shook my head. "You don't understand Mulder, she was too afraid of him." I replied. "My father was a monster."
Mulder sighed and nodded, in fact, he did understand, having suffered at the hands of his own father himself.
"Where are they now Alex? your parents, I mean."
I shrugged. "I don't know." I replied. "After father sold me to Spender, I never saw either one of them again. I don't even know if they are still alive.
"Sold you!" I could hear the horror in his voice now.
I nodded. "He needed money you see, I was fourteen at the time. I can still remember coming home from school one afternoon and seeing Spender sitting there in our parlor. That's what Mama used to call it, the parlor." I chuckled at the memory of that shabby little room that Mama used to spend hours keeping clean.
"I had no idea at the time but my parents had some small connection with the Consortium. I think my father might have done a job for them once, I'm not sure. Anyway, to make a long story short, Spender needed an assistant, someone young that could be trained. I was the perfect choice, intelligent, quick to learn and Father needed the cash. I guess you could say it was a match made in heaven. Or hell."
"Oh Jesus...Alex.." Mulder reached out and gently carded his fingers through my hair."I didn't know."
I looked at him. "Why would you Mulder?"
He sighed and shook his head. "You should have told me Alex." He replied.
"Why?" I asked him heavily. "Would it have changed anything?"
That stopped him. "I don't know." He finally admitted.
I smiled. "Well at least you're honest."
"Yeah, honest Mulder, that's me." He said drily.
"That's the one thing I had always admired about you Mulder." I admitted. "Your honesty."
I expected a clever quip in reply, but none came, instead Mulder tenderly drew me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest. I could hear the steady beat of his heart, the heat from his body warming me.
Closing my eyes I let him hold me, bathing myself in that warmth, content in the knowledge that I was no longer alone
It was late morning when I awoke. Sunlight streamed in through the half open window.
I laid still in the bed, not wanting to wake Mulder up. He was still asleep, snoring gently beside me.
I glanced over at the bedside clock, it was nearly ten. Finally, mindful of disturbing him, I rolled out of bed and padded towards the bathroom with the intention of relieving my bladder.
After pissing into the clean white porcelain bowl, a nice change after pissing in a corner of the silo, I washed my hands and then walked through the bedroom and out into the living room.
Stomach growling now, I decided to raid Mulder's kitchen. Opening the fridge, I rummaged through the contents in search of some breakfast makings.
I had to admit, I was surprised to find it reasonably well stocked with food. The rest of the apartment was in such a state of disarray I was half expecting to find nothing but a carton of spoiled milk and a moldy piece of cheese. But then again, I reasoned, he had managed to whip up some toast and soup for me yesterday.
Humming softly under my breath, I gathered up some eggs and bacon, intending to make a decent breakfast for the both of us.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Startled, I whirled around, dropping the eggs onto the tiled floor, and found myself staring into a pair of angry blue eyes.
"Scully?" I stammered.
Before I could react, the diminutive red head pulled her Glock out, pointing it straight at my chest.
"Where the hell is Mulder?" She practically screamed at me. "What the fuck have you done with him?"
"Hi there Scully." A laconic voice behind her said. It was Mulder dressed only in his boxers. Our voices had woken him up.
I felt myself go limp with relief.
"Mulder?" She asked, clearly stunned now.
"Good morning." Mulder replied with a lazy grin. "I see you've noticed that I have Alex staying with me."
Scully's mouth dropped open in a surprised little 'o'. She stared at her partner for a moment, then whirled back onto me again. Unconsciously I took a step back. An enraged Scully with a gun in her hand was never a good thing to see at anytime, and especially first thing in the morning.
Then Mulder's words must have finally sunk through to her because she turned to face him again.
"Alex...staying with you? Mulder what the hell is going on here?"
Mulder sighed. "Why don't I get some clothes on and then I can explain everything."
"I can make coffee." I offered tentatively. Mulder frowned at that.
"Are you feeling strong enough Alex?" He asked me. I nodded.
"Yeah, actually I am." I assured him. It was the truth, oh I was still weak, but the food and water had been enough to work a miracle, not to mention the bath and clean clothes. And the fact that I was one resilient rat certainly helped as well.
Mulder looked at me dubiously for a moment, then with a sigh, he replied.
"Okay then, just don't overdo it, you still need to get your strength back. Okay?"
I gave him an affectionate smile. "I promise Mulder, if I get tired, I'll go lie down or something."
Satisfied, Mulder nodded then turned to the clearly dumbfounded Scully.
"Come on into the living room Scully and have a seat. I'll just get some clothes on and then I'll tell you everything, alright?"
"Alright." After casting her own doubtful look at me, Scully followed Mulder into the living room, leaving me alone in the kitchen.
Carefully, ignoring the way my hand was trembling now, I cleaned up the mess on the floor, then started to make the toast and coffee. I figured the bacon and eggs could wait for another day.
Scully sat on the edge of the couch, her eyes darting from Mulder's face to myself and back again. I could not tell who was more nervous, her or me. But then again, she did have the gun.
The three of us sat drinking coffee and eating the buttered toast that I had made while Mulder explained the entire situation to her.
To her credit, Scully listened to what he had to say, then after he was finished, she calmly set her cup down onto the coffee table and told him.
"Okay Mulder, you received an email that led you back to the silo and there you found Krycek. You got him out of there thus saving his life, not that I think he deserves it but still that's neither here nor there." She stopped for a moment, quite obviously gathering herself. Then she continued.
"What I don't understand however is why you brought him back here? I mean why not just take him to a hospital or something?"
"Because he didn't want to go to a hospital, that's why." Mulder replied patiently.
"I hardly think that what he does or doesn't want is relevant." Scully answered. "He's not your responsibility."
Her eyes rested on me for a moment, then went back to him once more.
"Listen to me Mulder, this is a man who has proven himself to be treacherous and untrustworthy. He killed both your father and my sister. This is a man that cannot be trusted and you are letting him stay here. Are you out of your mind?"
Mulder was silent for a moment, then glancing straight at me, he replied.
"Alex is welcome to stay here as long as he needs to, as long as he wants."
Her mouth dropped open again, reminding me of Mulder's fish. Then suddenly she got to her feet.
"Well, if you want to take a murdering rat bastard into your home, then fine." Scully huffed. "But I am fully intending on informing AD Skinner about this situation. I'm quite sure that he will have something to say about this."
With that, she turned and stormed out of the front and and down the hall towards the lifts.
"Don't you think you should go after her?" I asked. Wearily Mulder shook his head.
"No, I think the best thing I can do at the moment is just let her go, she'll cool down soon enough..I hope."
I nodded, although, to be honest, I didn't hold out any hope that she was going to cool down anytime soon.
"Do you think she will tell Skinner?" I asked, a ripple of unease trickling through me. Out of all the people I have ever had to deal with, from wimpy, easily scared computer geeks to cold blooded assassins and ruthless scientists, Assistant Director Walter Sergi Skinner was the one man who had the uncanny ability to put the fear of god into me. Not that I would ever admit it though.
"Probably." Mulder replied, then seeing the look on my face quickly added. "Don't worry about it Alex. It's my choice to have you here and no one else's. If they don't like it, well fuck 'em." Then under his breath he added. "I never should have given Scully the key to my apartment."
That made me smile. "Doesn't the thought of the big man himself turning up on your doorstep for the sole purpose of kicking my ass make you even the teeniest bit nervous?" I asked.
Mulder chuckled. "Well, when you put it that way..."
I sighed. "But then again, an ass kicking from Skinner would be light relief after being locked in that fucking silo."
"No one is going to kick that cute little ass of yours Alex." Mulder said with more force than I think he intended. Then I had the satisfaction of seeing his face go crimson when he realized what he had just said.
Quickly biting back a laugh, I picked up my coffee cup and finished the contents. "And as for Skinner showing up." I replied lightly to help cover Mulder's discomfort." We are just going to have to cross that bridge when we come to it."
For what ever reason, Skinner did not end up showing up at the apartment. Perhaps Scully had decided not to tell him about me being here after all. Or maybe he figured that it was Mulder's business and of absolutely no concern of his.
Still it was nice to be able to relax and not have to worry about a visit from a certain six foot two ex marine turned Assistant Director.
It was early evening now, we both finished the meatloaf and mashed potatoes that Mulder had cooked. After washing the dishes, we both relaxed in front of the television, some blonde haired newscaster was droning on about the national deficit.
Suddenly I noticed Mulder looking over at me.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like if you had not been sold to Spender?" He asked.
"What?" I found myself staring at Mulder in surprise. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm curious." He replied. "Well, have you?"
"I frowned, thinking hard. "Well, I guess. I mean doesn't everyone at some time or another wonder how their lives could have been if things had been different?"
Mulder sighed and shook his head sadly.
"You know Alex, I always assumed that you were working for the CSM because you wanted to. I had no idea that your own father had sold you the way he did."
I looked over at him, surprised. "Is that still playing on your mind?" I asked him. Mulder nodded, I could see how much my story was troubling him.
"Forget it Mulder." I told him softly. "It happened a long time ago." I lifted my good hand up slightly as though I had the ability to brush the cobwebs of the past away.
"I know." He replied doubtfully. "But still Alex. You never got a chance to be able to make any choices for yourself. Doesn't that bother you?"
I shrugged. "Do any of us?" I replied. "I mean, we all think that we have the ability to make choices and maybe some of us actually do, but personally, I think for the most part, we have very little say in our destinies."
He stared at me quizzically. "You really believe that Alex?"
I nodded. "Yes, I do."
I could tell by the expression on his face that my answer bothered him even more.
"You know Mulder, my mother used to tell me a story. An old folk tale that her mother had told her, and her grandmother before that."
"Really." He grinned at me, his interest perking up. "What was it?"
"It was a story about a wolf." I began. "A wolf that spent most of his time alone. Feral and half starved, his path ran into that of a woodsman. The woodsman managed to wound the poor creature with a bullet from his hunting rifle. The wolf ran away as far as he could, but the wound had been a bad one. Half dead from the loss of blood, he collapsed in the snow."
"Then what happened?" Mulder asked, thoroughly entranced by my story now.
"A prince from a land faraway found the wolf." I continued. "He gathered the limp body of the wolf up into his arms and carried him over to where his horse was tethered. Then slinging the practically dead creature over his saddle, he took the wolf back to his castle."
"Did the wolf die?" Mulder asked. I smiled and shook my head.
"After traveling for many days, the prince eventually reached his home. There he ordered the finest healers to attend to the wolf. For many days and nights the healers worked their own magic. Medicines and ointments. Poultices and everything else they could think of. Their healing skills were very strong, and the wolf's desire to live was even stronger still. Eventually the wolf's wounds were healed and he became strong enough to return to the wild. Only he didn't."
Mulder frowned. "Why not?"
"Because with all the love and the care that he had received, he found that he could not leave. He needed the prince you see. He needed the warmth of his love."
Mulder smiled. "So how does this story end?" He asked.
"Like this." I leaned forward and kissed Mulder on the lips. Startled, Mulder froze for a fraction of a moment, then found himself melting into the embrace.
Finally, Mulder broke the kiss, staring gently down into my eyes.
"That's what you called me Alex." He breathed. "Your handsome prince."
I nodded. "You saved me Mulder, just like the prince saved the wolf in the story."
Suddenly Mulder lifted his hand to cup my face. Regarding me with something I had never seen in his eyes before. Desire.
Before I even realized what was happening, I felt myself lifted up off the couch and led into the bedroom.
Closing my eyes, I felt Mulder's hands gently undress me. I could feel the heat of his kisses as he plundered my mouth.
Even though I was no virgin when it came to having sex with other men, I had never bottomed before. Mulder laid me onto my back, his hands exploring my body with an insistence that spoke of pure lust.
I didn't mind though, and neither did my cock which was now standing up at attention.
I moaned softly as Mulder's tongue found my nipple. He nipped and nibbled at it until it was a tiny hard pebble. Then just as quickly, he turned his attention to my other nipple, teasing it until I was nearly out of my mind.
"Oh god." I heard myself whimper as Mulder's mouth searched lower and lower until finally it found my cock. Taking me into the hot wet depths of his mouth, he sucked me until I cried out with raw need.
Stopping only long enough to apply lube to my opening and to roll on a condom, Mulder entered me. His cock slipping into me as smoothly as a hot knife through butter. As if by instinct, he found that magical place inside me, hitting it again and again. The urgency of my climax growing all the while as I rode the thrusts until finally fireworks went off inside my head and I came. My cock spurted all over Mulder belly as he shuddered through his own climax. After completion, he collapsed on top of me, whispering my name.
"Tell me the rest of the story Alex." Mulder said sleepily as he snuggled beside me.
I smiled over at him, marveling not for the first time at the beauty of this man.
"I told you how it ended." I replied.
"No you didn't." Mulder replied. "All you told me was that the wolf stayed with the prince."
"Yes Fox, that was how it ended." I told him.
"But did they live happily ever after?" he asked.
"Yes Fox." I replied gently. "The wolf lived with the prince for many year. They both grew old together, the wolf would sleep at the prince's feet every evening and he drank from a silver dish and ate from a bowl made of gold."
"He had made his choice." Mulder replied with a lazily contented smile. "The wolf chose to stay with the prince."
I opened my mouth to reply, then stopped. Had the wolf been free to makes his own choice? I wondered. As a boy, I had listened to this story and others like it for hours on end. Often when after I had been locked in the coal cellar for some slight or another.
I had always assumed that the choice had been already made for the wolf, that the kindness and love that he had been shown had weakened him. That love had taken away his desire to be wild once more. And with his choice taken away, he had become tamed, and loved.
Could I have been wrong? The thought hit me as I lay in Mulder's arms, listening to his gentle breathing as he slept.
*//Have you ever wondered what you life would have been like if you had not been sold to Spender?//*
What would my life have been like? Would life have been very different for me? Would I be different?
The questions whirled around my head. The wolf had made his choice, he had chosen love.
The question was now, could I make the same choice? How could I not? I glanced down at the man sleeping beside me, marveling at how beautiful his face was in repose.
All the choices I could have made, all the things that could have been different if I'd only had the courage to change things.
I closed my eyes breathing in the coppery taste of pain and despair. All the hours that I had spent believing that my destiny had been cast in stone. All the time that I had spent living in-between the lines of life, unable to ever be a true part of it.
That would change though. I could make choices, I would makes choices and to hell with Spender, the Consortium and the rest.
A sleepy mumble drew my attention back to the man lying beside me one more. Mulder sighed in his sleep, moving a little, in the grip of a dream. I found myself hoping that it was a good one.
No more living life in-between, I would make my choice as that wolf had, I would choose, and live with the consequences of that choice, not matter what.
And perhaps, finally find some peace.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Lady Midath