We All Watch The X-Files

by Goddess Michele

 We All Watch the X-Files
by Goddess Michele 

To the tune of, and with apologies to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire", written for Sam as a sort of a Christmas present. It's silly, and who wants it, but I'm kinda proud of it, and if you want to archive it, go on, just leave my name on it!

 Dana Scully, FBI, Fox Mulder wants to cry 
Morley smoker, Walter Skinner 
Where's the EBE? 

Ice core samples, Deep Throat dying, 
Scully doubting, Fox still crying 
 North Pole insects, Max is missing 
 Truth we still can't see. 

Mathieson, contact, Duane Barry, Jose Chung 
Krycek is a nasty spy and 
Mulder stops for one more cry 

 Scully's gone, last seen 
 Skyland Mountain, no dream 
Orchestrated, Liver-eating, So long Scully 

We all watch the X-Files 
It was all the reruns 
Taught us to trust no one 
We all watch the X-Files 
No we won't deny it 
Come on won't you try it? 

 Dana Scully back again, Detour and Max and then 
 Agent Pendrell, Sister Missy, even X is dead 
 Holly, Frank Burst, Cerulean Blue, Schools cursed, 
 Nisei, Japanese, Inbred mom's in bed. 

 John Roche, Mad Hat 
 Queequeg's dead and Virg eats fat 
Tunguska jail, Mulder's harmed 
 Krycek's coming home one-armed 

 Pusher, Apocrypha, healing man's in Canada 
 Teena's stroke, ain't no joke 
Bounty hunter's coming! 


 Mulder's dead, Scully's sick 
Michael Kritschau did the trick 
 Implants, Mulder cried, 
In the Field Where I died 

Scully lives, Cassandra's here 
 Krycek kissed him, which was queer! 
 Investigate homicides, 
Twilight Time means Fox gets fried 

 Scully had a baby; monster was a Cher fan 
Fox hunt, get away, 
Doll said, "I want to play." 

 Bowman's got the blues; Skinner hasn't got a clue: 
shot Modell, read the paint 
Put Fox in five point restraints 


 Gibson Praise, chess pro, seems the kid is psychic 
Fowley, Spender, who the heck are these guys? 

Bombing down in Dallas, Cancerman is callous, 
Shot Fox, shot boss, Scully got a bee sting. 

 Office fire, life's hard 
 Mulder's in the psyche ward 
Duchovny's gay, in L.A. 
What more do we have to say? 


 Save the boy, Drive the car 
 Dreamland switch, we've gone too far 
 Rain king, Ghosts who stole Christmas 
Boo hoo 
 Monday, Wolf-girl, A.D.Kersh, Skinner's sick and 
Getting worse 
Scully found an alien 
 And saved Fox from Cancerman 

Season seven no surprise 
Sam is dead and Mulder cries 
Wish comes true, Scully's blue 
Snakes, Theefs, Big kiss, eww! 
Skinner's in a bubblebath, Spender's feeling 
Krycek's wrath 
 Mulder's gone, made Skinner cry 
Doggett is the new guy! 

We all watch the X-Files 
It was all the reruns 
Taught us to trust no one 
We all watch the X-Files 
 But when we are gone 
It'll still go on and on and on and on 

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Goddess Michele