TITLE: GOSSIP
AUTHOR: Blue Mohairbear
BETA: frogdoggie and Sergeeva
FANDOM: X-Files
PAIRING: Skinner/Mulder
RATING: PG
FEEDBACK: bluemohairbear@t-online.de
WEBSITE: http://www.squidge.org/3wstop
SERIES: ha ha
ARCHIVING: yes, anywhere
DISCLAIMER: Chris Carter is such a stubborn guy...
SUMMARY: Skinner and Mulder should have watched the Monty Python episode "How not to be seen"
WARNING: none
NOTES: This is for my friend, Strafe. Hi, Strafe!!! She wrote me a lovely Haiku. You can find it on my website, under "Gifts from Friends".


*********************
GOSSIP
by Blue Mohairbear
Deember, 2000
*********************

"Sybil! Psssst - Sybil!"

"Helen? What is it, dear? Aren't you well, your face is all flushed..."

"No... I mean, I'm fine... listen, Sybil, you *have* to promise me you won't tell anyone about this - not a word!"

"I promise, Helen - so what happened?"

"Well... you know I've been using the stairs instead of the elevator for some weeks now, because of my heart and all and the doctor ---"

"Yes, yes, I *know* that, Helen. What *happened*?"

"So I was taking some files down to Finance - and guess whom I saw?"

"Helllllennnnn.....!"

"Okay, okay.... well, I saw Walter Skinner."

"Walter - ooh. The bald stud from the fourth floor?"

"Exactly. And guess what he was doing?"

"...???..."

"Ow. Don't pinch me. Sybil... Skinner - was - *smooching*."

"... no."

"Y-E-S."

"Wow."

"Exactly."

"Wow. So, who's the lucky girl? Do we know her? --- Helen...? Come on, stop grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Who is she?"

"Well, yes... I think you'll know whom I'm talking about... Skinner was kissing that cute agent from the basement. You know, the one who's always working those spooky cases?"

"Dana Scully? Walter Skinner kissed Dana Scully in the stairwell??? Helen, this is---"

"No, Sybil, I don't mean Dana. I mean her partner. The cute one with the haunted eyes and the bedhair - what's the name again?"

" - - - "

"Sybil? Close your mouth, dear... The name? It was some funny name..."

"F-f-fox Mulder... you mean *Fox Mulder*?!"

"Right. That's him. Fox Mulder."

"You're telling me that Walter Skinner kissed Fox Mulder in the stairwell?"

"Shhh - not so loud! But, yes, that's what I'm telling you."

"Helen, that's stupid. I mean, sorry, I didn't mean it like that, but... he *kissed* him? Are you sure? Are you sure they didn't just have a conversation and were standing a bit close?"

"Sybil - I *know* heavy smooching when I see it, it hasn't been *that* long since Harold and I - well, anyway. I don't think Mulder moaning and clutching Skinner's shoulders and Skinner rubbing himself against Mulder qualifies as "conversation" - oh my, is it hot in here?"

"You're flushed all over again, Helen."

"You too, Sybil."

"Hmmm, well... Did they notice you?"

"I don't think so. They were pretty preoccupied. *Very* preoccupied. Oh my. I think I'm off to the restroom. And remember, Sybil, not a word about this to anyone!"

"Promise, Helen."

--- Five minutes later ---

"Barbara? Psssst - Barbara!"

"Sybil? What is it, dear? Aren't you well, your face is all flushed..."

"No, no, I'm fine... listen, Barbara, you *have* to promise me you won't tell anyone about this - not a word!"

**THE END**