Author: Biskitts
Title: Waking Up Beside You
Total Parts: 1
Status: Complete
Pairings: M/K
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None; Character death
Summary: Mulder lays awake, taking a in depth look at his life. *Mulder POV*

Notes: This is my first archived work, so feedback will be appreciated. Also, the title is taken from the song in which inspired it, "Waking Up Beside You" by Stabbing Westward.

Warnings: Brushes upon a mature topic (oh yeah, and homosexuality isn't?)

Disclaimer: If Chris Carter knew what I had the boys go through in my head, he'd shoot me on sight. Therefore I do not have his blessing on this story, nor am I distributing it for personal gain.

Feedback: biskitts@hotmail.com
Webpage: [archivist's note: website address given by author is no longer valid]


****

but I'd memorized how warm your body felt
as you lay half asleep beside me
and I memorized the way the sunlight filled the room
and played upon your body
I miss, God I miss waking up beside you
****

7:15 am. The sunlight from the break of dawn pours into the rest of my apartment, and yet mybedroom is dark, and cold. I can remember a time when dawn was the most jubilant time of the day for me. I would roll out of bed, all ready to go to work.

And Alex would be right there, laying on the other side of the bed, staring at me.

God, those eyes were beautiful. The dawn light reflected off of his eyes as if they were large pools of deep green water.

Dawn was a time of happiness for us. This was the way it was because I knew that when I got home from a long day of being reprimanded for almost everything I did, Alex would be there, either playing some Playstation game, or cooking, or doing something crazy like he usually did. When I was in town Alex always stayed with me. He probably stayed in my apartment even when I wasn't there. He often mumbled that he felt safe just within the confines on that apartment. I know he would have stayed forever if he had the chance. But natural law didn't allow it.

There was something about Alex Krycek that made sleeping interesting.

I remember a few weeks ago, when Alex said, "I love waking up beside you." I was taken aback by this comment, but really never thought anything of it. I simply wrapped my arms around his waist and gently rested my head on his chest. His gentle coughs told me that we didn't have much time together, and I tried to seem extra amiable when I was around him, but he soon after picked up on it. I wish I had read more into Alex's comment than I did. Now I'm kicking myself for not being the paranoid little boy that I always was.

~~~~~~

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. Alex simply nodded.

"As okay as I can be," he replied, coughing again. He got up and got himself a glass of water, and brought it back to bed. "I have to go to the hospital again."

"Now?" I asked cynically.

"Later," he replied, kissing my forehead. "I'll call you before I leave the hospital to see what to bring you for lunch."

~~~~~~~

I never received that phone call.

When I'm at work nowadays I still look at the phone, waiting for the phone to ring and for Alex to ask, "What's for lunch?" in that usual chipper tone he always had. But it never happens.

On this particular morning, I caught myself rubbing the pillows that his precious head once rested upon. I felt the warm tears roll down the side of my face, but I didn't care anymore. He was gone, and all I wanted to tell him was that I loved him. I loved him more than life itself. And I loved waking up beside him.