Title: Unfolding Lies
Author: Neige
Date: 6/24/01
Fandom: XF
Pairing: M/Sk and M/k implied
Rating: Very General. Maybe a *bit* of bad language but other than that... no one is gonna get wet here ;)
Status: Stand Alone story (so far anyway)
Archive: sure
Feedback: Highly appreciated, archange00@yahoo.fr
Disclaimers: You know the drill.
Summary: That would require a plot no? <g> Let's say... A little chat between Skinner and Mulder after the 8th season last episode.
Notes: Let's take a few minutes of silence to praise my awesome beta Bertie... Thanks for your help hun =) And watch out people, english ain't my first language...be nice ;)


Unfolding Lies

We exist in a world where the fear of illusion is real
And we cling to the past to deny and confuse the ideal
Once inside, we conceive and believe in a god we can't feel

----

The rain dripped down the window into an endless run. The dark street was empty, abandoned. Even the few street lamps couldn't inflict life through the heavy rain. Mulder couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight. After several days of anxiety, fights and running away, he was emotionaly and physically drained. He wished the cold rain outside could wash him off his dying illusions, but for the moment, he was unable to move and the visions clouding his mind were making his temples throb with pain. Mulder didn't even flinch when he heard the soft movement of his apartment door opening and footsteps entering the dark room. Mulder leaned forward slowly and rested his forehead on the chilly window. Droplets of condensation rolled down his cheeks and moistened his lips. He just wanted to escape the other man's scrutiny.

"You didn't return my calls, I need to talk to you," the tall man said softly, careful not to startle the younger man out his reverie.

"I don't want to talk to you, Sir," Mulder answered, wishing more than anything the man would leave but knowing fully well this wasn't the kind of man to give up on a maelstrom.

"Look at me. You haven't talked to me for days. I want to know what's going on Mulder. Is there's something wrong with Scully and the baby?"

Mulder had to smile to the memory of the little being so full of life and hope. How could have anyone imagined they were worth such a gift?

Skinner waited for a reaction then lost patience and took a few steps across the room, following the strange light coming from the street that gave Mulder's profile an unrealistic look. For a second he saw the body in the coffin once again and he had to clutch his fists tightly to shush the image away, knowing it would be back with a vengeance when he would dare to close his eyes. Feeling the presence of the man just behind him, Mulder turned around quickly and faced him, barely distinguishing the strong features and intense eyes through the darkness.

"Scully and the baby are perfectly fine." He paused for a few seconds. Should he close the door again, maybe forever? "I'd like you to leave now, Sir."

Mulder brushed past the other man, careful not to touch him and walked through the living room.

"You're mad `cause I killed him, right?" Skinner asked promptly, scared he would never have the oppurtunity to bring it up if he didn't do it now.

Mulder stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around. The older man didn't have to mention who he was talking about, they both knew.

---
Destined by a fate so cruel
And drugged to delight
I'm laughing as the lies unfold
I've lost all control
---

"What are you talking about?" the younger man answered nonetheless.

"You know real well what I mean. I am not sure what upsets me more. You sleeping with a convicted murderer or you being pissed at me for killing the man who had made my life, make it *our* lives, a hell for the past few years."

Mulder turned around quickly and stared furiously at his ex-boss. He crossed the little space between them in two long strides and grabbed the collar of the other's man soaked trench coat. Little cold droplets of water escaped and ran down his curled fingers and wrists.

"You have no idea what you are talking about," Mulder hissed through clenched teeth, his whole being suddenly tensed and on the verge of explosion.

"Don't give me any of this shit, Mulder!" Skinner snarled, trying to push Mulder away from him with quick and strong pushes to the other's man shoulders. "How dare you! How could you have done this? Don't you have any dignity? Any respect? Didn't it bother you *at all* that this man killed or tried to kill people close to you? That he is the enemy we have fought against all these years? Doesn't the pain mean anything to you? You had to throw it all away for a good fuck!"

Skinner breathed deeply, surprised himself at his own emotional burst. When did it become personal? He realized suddenly it had been personal for a long time; since their fights became their lives. He searched Mulder's eyes but they were hidden in the shadows.

Mulder grew completly still. The rain was still pounding furiously on the window but he wasn't hearing it. The only thing he was hearing and seeing were threats, deep green eyes and gun shots. He could even smell the intoxicating odor of leather and feel the chill of warm breath on his naked flesh. The sound of his heavily beating heart was muffling his thoughts, and for a brief moment, he lost the capacity to talk.

"You don't understand," he finally whispered softly, shivering from the warmth that coursed through his body caused by the reminescence of his forbidden lover.

"Then explain it to me, Mulder. Because I want to know. I want to know why you did it and why *him* pointing a gun at your head didn't make you change your mind? Make it make sense to me."

"Sense? SENSE?? I am afraid I can't give you that, Sir. For the simple reason that it made no sense. None at all and that's what's so sweet about it. Why do we always have to bother with sense? Give shape into everything life is made of? I never asked him for sense and he always gave me exactly what I wanted." Mulder could still see the trembling gun pointed at him and the fire in the dark eyes. How something so warm could have turned out so cold suddenly? Skinner clenched his jaw and glared at the other man. Mulder had stepped into the light and he could now see the spark of challenge and passion in his eyes like he was defending one of his beloved x-files. How could he settle with the knowledge of Mulder's affair? He really didn't know. He had always suspected the particular tension between the two men but his fears had never been so fully confirmed than when he looked into Mulder's eyes when he was pointing his gun at the agonizing double agent. Mulder suddenly sighed and his shoulders slumped into a more relaxed position. He brushed his hand through his disheveled hair and rested it on the back of his neck, slowly massaging it.

"What do you want from me, Walter?" he asked almost affectionately, the first name of his ex-superior leaving an odd bitter taste in his mouth. If you want apologies you won't get any because I don't regret anything. I've stopped regretting my every moves when even death decided my life has to be made of something else. I don't want you to see my acts as disrespect to your suffering or as denial, but I think I'd like you to see them as acts of freedom. I was free with him Walter, so free. He delivered me from any of my pain with every caress, every kiss. All of his being was redemption for me and I made the most of it."

"How could you lie to us?" Skinner asked almost inaudibly, daring to pronounce the sacrilegious word. Lies. Why does it always have to revolve around them?

"Does is matter?" Mulder answered back, cutting Skinner like a knife with his intense gaze. "It's over now, you killed him." He still could see the bloodied body laying on the cold floor. He had settled priorities that day. A choice that will always haunt him.

No time to think...no time to mourn... we have to move.

"And you are blaming me." Skinner wanted to sound harsh but he couldn't. His landmarks had faded away and he had no idea how to save himself, how to save them both.

"I am not mad at you. I am just trying to deal right now and shape my life into something different. And... I need you with me, not understanding or even trying to, but just present in my life."

Skinner couldn't take his gaze away from Mulder's brilliant eyes. At this point, he couldn't even feel any hard feelings against the younger man anymore. He felt like he had passed to another dimension where everything is so clear and simple. He leaned a bit forward to lay his warm hand on the other man's shoulder. Mulder shivered at the touch, as if he was about to pull away, but took the large hand into his own instead and squeezed it.

"I feel like a whole new chapter is being started, Mulder. Things will never be the same now and the relief is just overwhelming. I... I want to take this opportunity to built something newer and stronger."

Skinner breathed softly. With his free hand, he reached for Mulder's face and followed the line of the strong jaw with his index finger. Mulder's eyes looked down to the other man's lips and looked back up just in time to welcome the lips pressing to his own and a warm tongue claiming his. A bolt of lighting broke the sky through the rain and the light finally came to claim them.

----

FIN

N.B. The lyrics are from The Tea Party's song "Temptation".


Archived: November 02, 2001