Title: Release
Author: Neige
Date: 08/30/01
Fandom: XF
Pairing: M/D
Rating: General.
Status: WIP
Archive: Slashing Mulder Archive and Down in the Basement, just ask me for anywhere else please.
Feedback: Highly appreciated, archange00@yahoo.fr
Disclaimers: X-Files characters belong to CC and 1013.
Summary: A recollection of events going over 13 years involving Doggett and Mulder.
Notes: A huge thanks to my beloved beta Bertie who is always so patient and amazing with me. Another special thanks to my friend s_pawn who helped me with ideas and inspired me for Smartarse!Mulder ;)


November 2000

The door opened with an agonising squeal, the sound almost sacrilegious in the empty apartment. Agent Doggett entered and closed the door softly behind him, feeling a sense of sacred as if he'd just entered a church, a holy sanctuary impressive by its own existence. Apartment 42 was indeed empty of any living creature, not even the fish had survived, killed by over-feeding or lack thereof, he couldn't care less. As each time he had entered this place, Doggett took a detailed look at his surroundings, examining, analysing everything as if he could capture the essence of the owner. The air was warm and had the distinctive and bitter odour of enclosed space.

Nothing has changed.

Doggett swiftly got rid of his trench coat while crossing the hall and casually dropped it on the leather couch in the living room. It was not the first time he was there. He had come many times since the beginning of his assignment. He had come to search for evidences or more often to "feel around", as he called it. He would just hung around the apartment, looked at how its owner had arranged his living space, what was in the drawer next to the phone, where he put his pencils when he worked at his desk or the best position to watch tv on his couch. Sometimes he would even sleep in the apartment, on the couch or the bed. Then he would woke up and see what its owner use to see first time in the morning, how many steps it took him to go to the bathroom and how cold the kitchen tiles were for his bare foot when making breakfast.

That's how Doggett could achieve to grasp a bit of his fugitive's mind, getting only what was necessary to catch him. And he was very good at his job.

But today Doggett was tired. His fugitive seemed farther than ever, seemed more impossible to understand than ever. He knew this little apartment by heart, had learnt to loathe everything about it, from its lack of natural light to the broken heating that never kept the temperature at a bearable degree. He sat for a few minutes in the leather chair by the desk, watching the basketball rolled away from him from the kick he just had given it, getting too less pleasure from it. With a sigh he got up, loosing up his tie in the process. It was only 6 PM but already the apartment was partly in the dark, feeling smaller and oppressive. He threw his tie near his coat and walked to the bedroom in long decided strides. He kicked his shoes off as he entered the room, always careful to not disturb anything that shouldn't be. The bed was standing menacingly in the center, a big double bed that looked fairly new. Why his fugitive had needed to buy a new bed, he'd never know. He learnt very early in his investigation that the man barely ever slept in his bed, preferring the couch. Even the first time he got in the apartment the bed looked unused for several days if not more. Now it looked somehow indecent, without mentioning inviting since his body was screaming for some good and long rest. Doggett shook his head. Later. The agent never had given much attention to this room of the apartment. If possible, it looked even more impersonal than the others. He wondered briefly how it felt to live in a place that never belonged to you, always violated by people without cares that made everything dirty and meaningless. Doggett opened the top buttons of shirt and stretched his neck. He needed time away, away from this place and this man, haunting his thoughts. He decided quickly he wouldn't come back here for a good while after tonight. He had enough of working in his fugitive's office, his shadow watching over his shoulder. He was even sure that that shadow was constantly frowning at him, displeased with the way he had substituted him.

Doggett sighed once again and searched the room with his eyes. His gaze fell on the dresser. Had he checked this thing before? He couldn't remember. He slowly walked to it, extending his hand and body to the wall beside it to switch on the ceiling light. He yanked the first drawer open, a smell of soap invaded his nostrils instantly. It was the socks and underwear drawer. He quickly took note that the man possessed several kind of underwear ; loose cotton boxers, boxer briefs, silk boxers, a few briefs and an odd looking red speedo that seemed to have been worn a lot. Not exactly feeling like playing in his fugitive's undies, Doggett slid his hands at the bottom of the drawer and felt around for something else. Finding nothing, he closed the drawer, not without a sharp tug to un-stuck it. The second drawer was apparently the "casual clothes" one, not that he could relay on any of his fugitive's tidying skills. A couple of pair of jeans with a whole bunch of T-shirts was the excitement of this drawer. There was an Oxford T-shirt, a Marvin the Martian one, a rather small one with a huge yellow happy face on it and a whole pile of straight colored one. Doggett sighed once more, feeling boredom added to sleepiness invading his system. Once again he slid his hands at the bottom of the drawer. There was nothing else there, except another piece of clothe that was softer than the others to his fingers. He quickly pulled it out from the bottom. He noticed it was just another T-shirt but it was apparently old and so frequently worn that the cotton had become thin and raw. The T-shirt was pale grey and he could see, even when folded, that it had several little holes along the sewing. Doggett methodically unfolded it, clinging it by both shoulders to see the imprint on the front.

The agent froze. Seconds passed.

Doggett continued to stare at the T-shirt. Four letters were printed in black. They were slightly faded, going along the rest of the T-shirt. USMC. United States Marine Corps. This T-shirt was his.

End of prologue


Chapter 1
You Want It All

12 years ago.

A line. An empty Coca-Cola can. A line. A cigarette butt. A line. A line. A dirty pink chewing gum.

Doggett raised his head and watched the menacing governmental building stretching its ugly frame in front of him. He was sweating abundantly and his muscles were beginning to burn from the hour of jogging he had already done. The weather was unsure of its next course of action on this late afternoon, spreading dark clouds along some rare but bright sun rays.

Doggett stopped suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk, leaning forward to rest his palms on his knees to catch his breath. Where was he again? He had arrived at a crowded area of the city. He could feel the polluted air sticking to his lungs and thickening his blood. With a jolt, he continued jogging, leaving the sidewalk and crossing the street in the direction of a little park.

A line. A newspaper page. A line. A line. An ants infested apple. A line. A foot. A knee. A chest.

Doggett raised back his head just in time to make it connect with the other man's chin, making both of them stop dead in their tracks and groan in frustration and pain. Doggett took a step backward and rubbed his forehead stiffly, eyeing the other man quickly.

« I thought the USMC was supposed to run over *enemy* soldiers ». The voice was edgy but Doggett could see the grin on the other's man face, under the hand that was also stiffly rubbing his chin.

Doggett stared for a minute with his mouth slightly open then remembered he was wearing his USMC T-shirt. Idiot. He grinned back weakly, the dull pain on his forehead making him dizzy.

« Used them all up, now we have to resort to civilians »

The other man laughed, finally getting his hand out of his face to display perfect white teeth gleaming in a wide open laugh. He was probably the same age as Doggett, or younger. He couldn't say. He had ageless features that never reveal anything but your own incapacity to cope with years.

« I am sorry I ran into you, I was lost in my thoughts. » He offered an apologetic smile, scanning quickly the other man and noticing his lean frame and spiky hair. Maybe younger after all.

« No problem. » The man bowed his head, preparing to leave.

« Erm. You wouldn't know any nice place to jog in the area, would you? » Doggett just noticed the bright eyes and he didn't want to break contact right away.

The man cocked his head to one side and shifted his feet. He smelled of sweat and lavender soap.

« Not around here I'm afraid. There's a little park farther this way » He pointed at a vague area behind him. « Do you want me to show you? »

Doggett thought about refusing so he could continue running by himself but decided otherwise. Thinking he would like some company after all.

« Sure. Thanks »

Both men started jogging by each other's side. They quickly fell into an awkward silence. Doggett found himself staring at the ground again but, remembering what happened the first time, he lifted his gaze to rest, to his greatest dismay, on the stranger's thighs. The man was wearing loose shorts that showed the pale skin of his legs at each movement. Doggett watched as the powerful muscles twitched and released under the skin.

« So I guess you are not from around here? » The other man finally broke the silence.

Doggett looked up quickly.

« Yeah. I am just in town to visit some family. I've been overseas for 2 years. »

Doggett cringed. He might as well have told him he needed to get laid. Fuck. The stranger seemed amused. A bead of sweet was running down the side of his face to his lips.

« It must be hard to be so far from home. » The sentence was meant to be considerate but lacked the warmth. Doggett decided to drop it.

« What do you do? »

« I.. » His sentence was cut short by a cold drop of rain that touched his cheek, surprising him. Many others quickly followed it as the rain began pouring over them in a torrent.

« Fuck! » Doggett wiped water from his eyes and raised his hands to the sky in a defeated gesture.

« Come on! » The stranger pointed to a big tree just a few yards in front of them. They had just entered the little park that was only composed of a few trees and a couple of benches. Both men started running in that direction, the wind blinding them with rivers of water. The grass under their feet was already saturated with water and each of their steps was sending more water up their legs. They were almost to the tree but it was already too late; they were soaked to the bone, their breath raw from too much exercise. They both stopped at the same time a few steps from the tree to walk the last distance. The stranger leaned against the trunk and looked at the other man, smiling. Doggett chuckled back, feeling as much uncomfortable as stupid in his soaked shorts and his T-shirt. Even his running shoes had splashed water under each of his steps.

« It's official, I don't like DC. » Doggett snorted, passing a hand several times through his short hair to get rid of the excess rain.

« And that's not even the worst about this city. »

« I won't ask. » Doggett leaned his back against the tree, watching the rain drop its thick curtain on the city. He could hear the stranger catching his breath just beside him. Water was escaping the leaves and rolling over his skin but he almost didn't feel it. The sound of the rain was soothing him. He suddenly noticed that minutes had passed by and that the other man wasn't breathing harshly anymore. He turned his head to meet hazel eyes scrutinising him.

« You were about to tell me what you do for a living? » Doggett watched as the moistened lips parted in a slow grin.

« You have three guesses. » The grin was now devilish.

« No fair. You had an obvious clue to guess mine. » Doggett brushed invisible dust away from his soaked T-shirt.

« I would have guessed even without the T-shirt. » The voice was low but just audible enough for Doggett to hear it over the rain.

« What is it? My haircut? »

The other man looked up at Doggett's hair, analysing thoroughly. He frowned.

« Nah, just the way you ran me over. »

Doggett laughed, turning his body slightly so he could have a better view of the other man.

« You get run over by Marines often ? »

« I´m trying not to make a habit out of it. »

They both laughed, feeling light-headed by their awkward situation. The rain was still falling heavily, chasing away the warm afternoon air and replacing it by cool humidity.

« So? Three guesses. Time's ticking away. »

Doggett took time, thinking about it, his index finger resting on his lips.

« Speed bump? »

The stranger burst out laughing again.

« You figured me out. » The man grinned, his eyes glinting with amusement.

« Alright, seriously. » Doggett paused, taking another good look at the man's features, his ascetic face, his loose position against the tree and the play of long impatient fingers on his forearms.

« Cop? »

The stranger's smile flickered for a second and Doggett knew he had come close.

« You're getting hot. » The smile wasn't gone but there was a shadow in his eyes.

« Criminal then? » Doggett raised an eyebrow in a mocking suspicious expression.

The smile was definitely back now.

« Wrong. You used up all of your guesses. You lose. »

« Can I at least have the answer in reward for my great efforts? »

« Nope. Sorry. Better luck next time. » He paused. « You can have the loser's price though. »

« That's too kind. What is it? »

The stranger offered a smile in answer and got closer to Doggett, surprising him by leaning forward suddenly. Doggett's first thought he was about to get kissed then changed his mind and decided the tall stranger had just tripped on something and his long, thin limbs couldn't get co-ordinated effectively to prevent him from falling. He changed his mind again when he felt warm breath over his face and soft lips brushing his. He probably couldn't have been more frozen if he had morphed into a block of ice. His body was nonetheless uncontrollably reaching toward the heat radiating from the stranger's body despite his soaked attire. The cool lips were still on his, not discouraged by the lack of response from their opponent. They nibbled gently at the corner of his mouth, a daring tongue tentatively poking out to taste. When the stranger pulled away, it seemed to Doggett that it had lasted years and not merely a few trivial seconds.

The other man was still too close. He could hear both of their heartbeats thundering chaotically. He quickly raised his gaze, resting an angry and outraged look on the man facing him, or so he thought, but only managed desire. The stranger's eyes were dark and bright at the same time, like they were absorbing every light surrounding them. His body was tense and prepared for action, flight or fight maybe. Doggett's eyes were irresistibly drawn to the lips that had left a tingling and pleasant sensation on his own. Thoughts were furiously flooding his brain but he dismissed them all.

"I haven't done this in a while." Doggett felt he had to mention it. He was so fucking lost. He wanted more contact. He wanted the lips back.

The other man leaned forward again to press his lips to Doggett's neck.

"Let it go. We all need to forget who we are sometimes." The lips were trailing along Doggett's neck, like if they were caressing Doggett's mind, tempting it. A tongue drew small circles of moisture on the soft skin. The man slid his hands around Doggett's torso and trailed his fingertips until he reached the end of the shirt, which he lifted to access the waistband of Doggett's shorts. He tucked his thumb inside and applied a gentle rubbing pressure near his kidneys. Doggett shivered.

"Alright." He closed his eyes to savour for a few more seconds the blissful feeling of unresolved arousal.

The stranger drew back from him, freeing his hands to bring them to rest lightly on Doggett's stomach.

Doggett made up his mind quickly and grabbed the other man's T-shirt, entwining his fingers in the heavy cloth and pulling the owner closer to him again. He pressed his lips against the stranger's, quickly feeling them part to give him access to what he wanted. The contrast between the cool lips and the warm mouth was sending shivers up Doggett's spine. The stranger had already regained his composure and was thoroughly attacking Doggett's mouth with his own. He pressed his body to the Marine's, letting an idle hand slide down to feel appreciatively a hard stomach. When Doggett drew back suddenly, letting the torn garment go, both men were breathless. They stumbled backward clumsily, trying their best to regain their composure on the slipping grass. The next few seconds were only filled by the softening sound of rain slowly dying out.

"Follow me." Doggett whispered, his breath still short. That's it. Always in control. No. He wasn't in control at all but it had ceased to matter. He didn't wait for the answer and left the secure haven of the tree to venture back under the drizzle. The other man slowly tagged along, not bothering to hurry. When Doggett looked behind his shoulder, the man was just behind him, his hair was no longer spiky at all but plastered on his forehead, his bangs dropping over his brows. His face would have been expressionless without the small curve of his lips and the strength of his gaze following each of Doggett's movement.


It took them barely twenty minutes to reach Doggett's hotel. It was small but cosy, to Doggett's opinion anyway. They crossed the heavily lit hall without a glance to anything or anybody, oblivious to the water they were spreading along each of the steps. The ride in the elevator was done silently, their eyes fixed on the changing numbers until it indicated the fifth floor. They left the elevator as swiftly as they had entered it, walking to the door 56 in a stunned but comfortable silence. Doggett had long ago given up on thinking, just going along with whatever he felt he had to do. He opened the door softly and entered the dark room. He could see the shadow of his luggage on the bed he hadn't felt like sorting through hours earlier. When he heard the door clicking closed behind him, he turned around, facing the stranger who was smiling back at him.

"I think you are very direct for someone who lost the game."

"Am I?" Doggett leaned forward again to kiss him, using his hands this time to roam over the lean body. He lifted the soaked T-shirt that was clinging to the shivering skin and circled the navel with his thumb, feeling the goose bumps on the cool skin. The stranger broke the kiss to nibble at his jaw then down his neck.

"I am not sure we won't need scissors to get rid of those clothes." Doggett grinned. He had been trying to lift more of the T-shirt but had found it was a most unnerving task. The other man chuckled against Doggett's neck, the low rubble making the Marine shiver with eagerness. They pulled back from each other slightly when the younger man firmly grabbed the end of the other man's T-shirt, pulling it up quickly along the man's raised arms. He let the shirt go making a distinctive plop sound when it hit the carpet. He touched the exposed chest with his fingertips, tracing the path of the pectorals then playing with the erect nipples. Doggett pushed the merciless hands away to get rid of the other's shirt. The stranger claimed his lips once again, the contact of their bare skin touching sent shots of arousal down their body.

They stumbled closer to the bed and Doggett quickly pushed his luggage off to the floor, just after retrieving a small foil package and a tube of lube from the inside pocket. He threw his possessions on the bed allowing complete access for the attacks given by the other man who was tugging at the band of his shorts, causing the fabric to strangle his erection in a most torturous way. He let himself be pushed on the bed while the stranger kissed him more hungrily, his feather caresses becoming urging strokes.

Doggett laid on his back, pulling the other man on top of him. The stranger rubbed his erection against Doggett's and they moaned in unison, clinging to each other bodies even more fiercely. The Marine tried to reach for the other man's clothes but he was already kissing his way down his chest, pausing at his nipples to bite gently. Doggett groaned and set his hand in the rain soaked hair to encourage the head to go further down. The hot mouth stopped at the waistband of his shorts to be able to grab it firmly with his hands. Doggett lifted his hips and his shorts were slid down his legs to expose his rock hard erection. His hand still entwined in short soft hair. He felt the mouth nibbling on the tender skin just above his pubic hair. Doggett groaned again, tugging at his hand full of hair. The mouth engulfed his member, shyly tasting and nibbling on the head before sliding further down, a hand grasping the inaccessible length. Doggett bucked, tightening his grip into the other's man hair. That's when he began losing track of time, everything was going so quickly he had no time to think about anything. Within seconds, he stopped the stranger's ministrations, pulling him on the bed while getting rid of his remaining clothes.

Doggett then explored the other body, savouring the contact of stranger's flesh to his. Irresistible waves of arousal were drowning him in quiet plenitude. They struggled for precious seconds, each of them wanting something and unable to communicate it efficiently to the other. Finally, Doggett reached for the tube of lube and the condom that had slipped to the floor and prepared the other man thoroughly. When the stranger was ready for Doggett, and when they both couldn't stand any more teasing, Doggett entered the other man swiftly. They both moaned loudly, eyes closed, not quite there but not quite away. They moved in unison for a few minutes, twirls of hands reaching and clenching, tongue playing and tasting. Their orgasm hit them almost by surprise, too quickly, knocking the air out of their lungs. The only thing Doggett remembered before falling slowly into sleep was the musky smell of the other man and the feel of warm breath on his neck.


He woke up to a displeasing feeling of coldness over the skin of his back and to a moment of confusion about his whereabouts. Doggett was laying on his side, the sheets of the bed tangled in his legs and almost all of his back exposed to the ambient and uncaring cold air. He quickly sat up, squinting his eyes in the dark to read the time off his watch. Two hours had passed since he had entered the hotel. The door to the small bathroom suddenly opened, shooting an harmful ray of light straight into Doggett's eyes.

"You're finally awake." The stranger came back into the room only clad in his white boxer shorts.

They watched each other for a moment, suddenly ill at ease.

Doggett cleared his throat.

"Oh by the way, my name is John Doggett." He extended his hand, hoping to break out of the awkward moment with comic relief. It seemed to work as the stranger laughed, coming closer to the bed to firmly shake the offered hand.

"Fox Mulder."

"Nice to meet you, Fox." Doggett could barely see him through the darkness of the room but the hand was warm, the fingers lingering a bit too long to flutter against his skin.

"Just Mulder, please." Doggett nodded understandingly. It was typcial of him to pick up a man for a one night stand who was named Fox. He smiled.

"I was wondering if you could hand me some clean clothes? Mine look like something dragged out of the gutter." Mulder grinned, sitting casually by Doggett on the bed and pointedly glanced down at his naked body.

"Oh sure." He pointed to the wreck of his luggage on the floor close to the bed. "Knock yourself out."

"Thanks." Mulder got up and reached for the luggage, lifting it to lay it on the bed. He quickly found a pair of shorts and another USMC T-shirt.

"Is this the only things you wear?"

"It's just a fashion statement." Doggett grinned, reaching for the bedside table and turning the light on. He watched Mulder getting dressed, finding his T-shirt quite obscene on another man.

Mulder straightened the T-shirt, which was a bit too loose on him, reminding Doggett of the thinness of the man and the display of ribs he loved to nibble on earlier.

"I will bring them back," Mulder assured in a non committed way. They both knew he wouldn't and that was fine. The light moment was gone and it was time for them to go back to their lives, themselves, but not quite unchanged.

End of Chapter 1


Chapter 2
I'll Give You Something More

6 years later

"What do you mean a complete loss?" Doggett gripped his cell phone tightly, his knuckles white from the grip. "No fucking way. I need to be back in New York by tonight. I don't care what you have to do, just do it. I am going to go get it in 3 hours, maximum."

Doggett punched the off button hard on his cell phone and inserted it back in the inside pocket of his coat. He sighed. It definitely wasn't his day. Make that his week. He had come yesterday for a quick visit to his grandmother in DC and problems had been plaguing him since. Not only did he get a speeding ticket, but the officer, seeing his NYPD badge, started lecturing him about setting examples. Not to mention the freaking cold and wet weather in DC in October. To add to his already extremely grumpy mood, as soon as he had entered the city, his muffler gave out, forcing him to drop his car at the nearest garage and use a rental one. Doggett walked stiffly through the heavy grass of the memorial park. He was sure Lincoln was sneering at him. And the sun was obstinately refusing to make any appearance. Doggett sat on a stone bench by the paved alley and got out his cell phone again, dialling a number by heart. A warm feminine voice greeted him at the other end of the line.

"Hi honey. How are you?" He paused while she answered and asked the same question. "I've been better. Look, my car broke down and I don't know when I'll be able to make it back home. How's the kid?" His wife broke off into the recent comical adventure of their small boy when something, rather someone, caught his eye. Not too far from where he was, another man was sitting on a bench, absently munching on a sandwich, a stack of files resting dangerously on his lap. His bent head outlined profusely a large nose.

Doggett quickly came back to the conversation he was having when he heard his first name repeated several times.

"Sorry, honey, I was distracted. I will call you back later when I have more developments. Kiss the boy for me. Bye bye."

Doggett watched the man for a long moment, almost unable to believe he remembered him so well after all those years. But he did. He hadn't changed much, except that now he was clothed in an immaculate expensive suit and his hair was suitably combed. He shifted nervously, fighting against the urge to get up and go talk to him, staring back again into the deep eyes and remembering. Doggett glanced at his watch. He had a lot of free time ahead of him and he wasn't feeling like doing anything in this damn city. How wrong could it be to go say a quick hi? Doggett got up, feeling a weird clenching in his stomach. He shook himself, he was just being overly silly. He kicked himself mentally and walked to the seated man, careful not to appear too brusquely in the other man's line of sight to not startle him. As soon as his pale shadow touched the tip of the shining shoes of the seated man, the other man raised his head, his mouth stopping to munch on the last bite and his eyes searching instantly for the stranger's.

Doggett gave him a neutral smile.

"Hi Mulder. How are you doing?"

Confusion washed over Mulder's face but only for a very brief moment. Colors seemed to cover his face and he offered back a small smile. Doggett knew instantly he had made a mistake.

"Hi." He quickly swallowed his mouth full before extending his smile. "John."

Doggett smiled back and offered his hand nervously, logically thinking pecks on the cheeks weren't the proper salutations in this case. Mulder stared at it at first, unsure how to disentangle himself efficiently from his position under his lunch and his files to be able to shake the hand. He decided quickly to sacrifice his lunch and laid it back on the bench beside him, grabbing and shaking the hand vigorously.

"I am fine. How are you? Please sit down." Mulder took his lunch back, freeing some place for Doggett and laying it on the other side of the bench instead. The other man sit down, trying to relax a bit but only managing a half casual position, his back still tense.

"I am fine too, thanks."

"What brings you to DC?"

"Family again. I really must love my grandmother to suffer this city, especially this weather for her."

"I hope your last trip to DC wasn't that bad..." Mulder tilted his head and watched Dogget carefully, an unsure grin playing on his lips.

Ah. Already references to the last time they met. The man is not losing time. Mulder must know he had been to DC since last time they saw each other but he was clearly testing him. For what, Doggett had no idea. He smiled back nonetheless but in the most non committed way he could manage.

"I guess I am just not lucky."

"I guess," Mulder said enigmatically. He shifted slightly to grab the bottle of juice next to him, keeping a hand on the stock of paper on his thigh to prevent it from falling. Doggett got interested when he clearly recognised the classic identification sheet of a suspect. He almost strangled himself.

"So, you finally a cop?"

Mulder, who had taken the bottle to his mouth and drank a long shot, turned his attention back to him.

"No game this time?" He couldn't help but grin at Doggett's discomfort. He quickly wondered why suddenly the Marine was acting shy with him. When Doggett obviously glared at him in an annoyed way, he stopped grinning.

"Kind of. I'm FBI."

Doggett didn't know why but it shocked him. He had barely given a second thought to the man in the past years, or maybe he had but more in a fantasy, which didn't really count.

"What? You don't think it suits me?" Mulder's smile was back, holding an endless amount of promises to Doggett.

Doggett immediately thought the man had taken some confidence training since last time he had met him, which made him wonder again how old he was. He seriously wished he wasn't too young.

"No no. It's not that. It's just that I am in the NYPD now." He shrugged as casually as he could, but Mulder had distinctively moved a bit closer to him, and he could feel the warmth of his thigh against his. He felt himself becoming hard as erotic memories rushed back suddenly in his brain as if a locked door had suddenly burst open.

"And married." Mulder answered, obviously steering the conversation onto his own subject.

Doggett looked down at his hands on his lap, the shine of the golden band suddenly hurting his eyes. Anger and shame boiled in his blood and he stared back at Mulder sharply.

"And I have a kid."

Mulder was slightly baffled by Doggett's reaction, nodding back at him to try to calm him down.


Doggett felt the knot in his stomach tighten some more.

"Look, I should go. My car will be ready soon and I have to hit the road." It's not like he had any desire to reacquaint himself with past one-night stands anyway. He shook his head and got up but Mulder swiftly caught his wrist in a strong grip.

"You don't have to leave right away. If you have some more time can we walk and just chat?"

Doggett softened a bit at Mulder's pale gaze. He was acting rather foolishly this afternoon. Must be all of his bad luck hitting on his nerves at the same time. He had a few hours to wait before having to get his car after all.

"Alright." He even smiled back at Mulder. Everything was fine again.

He waited for Mulder to chaotically pick up his stuff, throwing the remainder of his lunch in the trash. He put his stack of paper in an old looking briefcase contrasting wildly with his clean suit. He punched it several times to close it under Doggett's amused gaze and they both headed along the paved alley coursing through the park. Other people were also about, many of them on their lunch breaks as they were.

"So tell me, Mulder, in what section do you work at the bureau?"

"The X-files."

The sun suddenly appeared through the clouds, hitting the park and making it spark with beautiful autumn's colors. It was most probably the last sun rays before it set for the day. Doggett was feeling good and he almost missed Mulder's answer.

"Unsolved cases?"

"You know about it?" Mulder loosened his tie due to the warmth.

"Yeah. I have been wanting to join the bureau for a while."

"And the X-Files would interest you?" Mulder could barely hide the shock in his voice. Doggett noticed and laughed.

"No offence but no, not really."

"Good. You won't steal my job then." They both chuckled lightly, feeling revitalised by the persistent sun. They walked for several minutes in silence.

"Why did you leave the Marines?"

Doggett thought for several seconds, absently watching a leaf flying down a branch and resting unnoticed on Mulder's shoulder.

"I was tired. It wasn't challenging me anymore. I needed a change." He brushed the leaf off the other man's shoulder with the back of his hand. Mulder nodded knowingly. He quickly caught the idle hand and squeezed it in a more urgent than comforting manner. They had walked inside a small wood. The trees had still enough leaves to partially stop the light but not enough to block away the warm rays of the sun. Doggett got lost in his thoughts watching the twitching light play on Mulder's features, the rays coming trough the leaves drawing bizarre patterns on the pale skin. He quickly snapped out of his reverie when he felt a hot warmth on his ring finger. Mulder was pressing his lips lightly to the finger, then sucked on the tip slowly. Doggett was shocked by such audacity, or was it stupidity? He wasn't sure. The light was catching his wedding band and the reflection danced on Mulder cheek while he continued nibbling on the finger.

"Son of a ."

Dogget tried to jerk his hand away with a small tug, searching around frantically for witness but they were alone. He didn't succeed in getting his hand free because Mulder was holding his wrist with his other hand. He knew he could dislodge Mulder in a blink of an eye but the will to do so had melted like snow under the sun. All of his body was rapidly warming and the simple touch of lips on his finger had sent an electric jolt down to his cock. Mulder's eyes were slightly lowered and he was looking up at Doggett through his eyelashes, not stopping one second to play with the finger. Mulder's briefcase fell to the floor completely unnoticed by both men. Doggett groaned and Mulder released the finger just in time to get his lips crushed by Doggett's. They kissed hungrily, hands fighting to touch as much as possible. Doggett gripped the other man's shirt, playing with the silky cloth before pulling it half out of the man's trousers. He felt the stomach twitch under his fingers and Mulder pressing his crotch into his, while the other man moaned into his mouth. They pulled away to catch their breaths, theirs hands clutching their clothes. Doggett followed the path of the strongly defined jaw with his mouth to the throat where he softly bit the skin. Mulder moaned some more, pressing his erection against Doggett's hip.

Mulder pulled away from Doggett to direct him backward off the alley and further into the woods. He pushed the man against a large tree and kissed him again, this time reaching down to the zipper of Doggett's jeans. Doggett gasped when he realised what the other man was doing but a hand was already lowering his zipper and fumbling inside to reach his erection. Doggett groaned loudly when the hand found his cock and took it out, playfully pumping him in a slow torturous way. Suddenly the lips weren't on his anymore and Doggett glanced down as Mulder carefully kneeled on the ground, always stroking his erection. Doggett watched around the little wood quickly, what Mulder was about to do would not be misunderstood by witnesses. The sun was gone again but both men were now thankful for its absence. The area was fairly empty and Doggett looked back down in time to see the head of his cock disappear into Mulder's mouth. He moaned, eyes closed, and his hand resting on the other man's head. Mulder lost no time and began sucking him thoroughly, occasionally stopping to circle the head with his tongue. He unbuttoned the jeans quickly to fondle Doggett's balls. Doggett moaned loudly when a tongue attacked his balls, sucking and biting, while a hand was still jerking him.

"Jesus Christ." He breathed heavily.

Mulder apparently took that as a warning and got up to kiss him, a hand still working on Doggett's cock. Doggett angrily tore at Mulder's belt, trying to get through the infuriating cloth to reach the pressing erection. He finally succeeded in getting the engorged cock out of the trousers, pumping it at the same speed Mulder was working him. They almost came at the same time, their cum shooting on their bellys and soiling their clothes. They both slumped back on the grass, their legs giving away. They sat for a moment, their back against the tree to catch their breath. Doggett tucked himself in, frowning at the mess on his T-shirt. He watched as Mulder did the same thing, brushing some dirt off his trousers.

"DC is really getting weirder and weirder."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Mulder turned his head to watch him and Doggett couldn't stop himself from smiling. They were abruptly cut off when both of their cell phones chirped, making them jump and groan in unison, most displeased to be disturbed in their post-coital rest.

He reached into his coat's inside pocket and retrieved the annoying device.

"Doggett." He listened absently to his interlocutor while watching Mulder scramble to get his cell phone in his briefcase.

"Cut the crap. Are you saying my car is ready for me to pick up?" Doggett snapped. Mulder had succeeded in reaching his cell phone and was laying on his back on the grass, talking into it in monosyllables.

"Thanks. I'll be right there." He closed his phone and looked over at Mulder as the man was also finishing his conversation.

"I have to go. My car is ready."

Mulder watched him and nodded.

"Well, let's hope this is a final goodbye."

Mulder started laughing.

"I don't think so. You seem to come to me whatever happens. As long as there will be that hole in your life, I'll be there." He grinned.

Doggett frowned then sighed. Whatever. He buttoned his coat up so his soaked T-shirt was hidden. He glanced for a last time, or so he hoped, at the man sitting on the grass beside him and he took off.

End of Chapter 2



Release, by Neige + Chapter 3 : And You'll Fade Away

November 2000

Doggett woke up in a stranger's sheets with a stranger's smell surrounding him. It took him several seconds to remember where he was. Mulder's apartment. He had finally surrendered to the bed and had lain down for just a few minutes, but had drifted away into a deep slumber. The room was completely dark, a few shadows dancing on the walls were his only companion. Doggett rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp, protecting his eyes from the harmful light. He lay back with his hand over his eyes for a moment. He had never realised how much this room smelled like Mulder. It was suffocating, not to mention it made him realise he knew Mulder's scent in the first place. He slowly sat up in the bed, his body heavy with weariness. His watch told him he had slept for more than two hours. Doggett sighed and slumped back against the mattress. That's when he realised he was still holding his old USMC T-shirt Mulder had borrowed the first time they had met. With a furious growl, he threw the T-shirt across the room where it got lost in a dark corner. He had seen what happened to people who were careless enough to enter Mulder's maelstrom. They get caught in it and never come back. He wouldn't let that happen to him.


3 years ago

Doggett watched intensely the ice cubes floating around in his drink. They almost seemed to have a life of their own, tinkling in the brown liquid. A life almost better than is. Doggett smirked and finished his glass in one shot, feeling the coldness of the ice cubes hitting his lips as he finished drinking. The pub was almost empty, it being the early hours of the day. He couldn't blame anybody, this pub truly sucked. It was dark and dirty and most of the time empty. Doggett was probably the only one sustaining it. He had never seen a customer smoke but somehow the air was always filled with smoke and other bad smells.

"Another drink, Agent Doggett?" The bartender had appeared suddenly in front of him.

Doggett tipped his glass at him and nodded. The man filled his glass quickly and disappeared again in one of the many dark holes of this place. He noticed absently when another customer entered. There was that kind of very annoying bell at the top of the door ringing in a old fashion way. Each time Doggett had entered in the pub, he had wanted to rip it off but with time, and many drinks, he never got to do it. Someone suddenly started the jukebox onto some old rock and roll song. Doggett groaned in his drink. At least the music was covering the sound of the rain outside. After a whole day of dread and brooding, the rain had finished him and pushed him into this pub-of-constant-depression. The new customer seemed to have decided to sit just beside him, like the damn place wasn't big enough or empty enough. He was about to say so to the man and turned to face him. His snarl died on his lips and he smiled instead.

"You look like shit, Mulder." He chuckled.

The other man was leaning one elbow against the bar, his hand supporting his head. He was indeed looking like shit. He had the word exhaustion written all over his face. His hair was tousled and he was only wearing faded jeans, a T-shirt and a wet leather jacket. The numerous amounts of shadows in the bar couldn't hide a giant purple-blue bruise covering his right eye and little blooded scratches going down his cheeks as if done by treacherous claws. Doggett had to admit it made him feel much better.

Mulder watched him with a, God help him, stern expression.

"You are not much better, John."

Doggett snorted and finished his drink in one shot, the liquid not setting his throat to flame anymore. Mulder visibly winced and Doggett laid his glass back on the counter in an angry gesture.

"What do you want, Mulder? I would like to get drunk in peace."

Mulder ignored him and ordered himself a drink, or rather, tried but the barman had shifted to his I-have-more-important-stuff-to-do-than-serve-you attitude and his polite pleas went unheard. He quickly gave up and swiftly stood up instead.

"Oh no. Already leaving?"

"Just changing that damn music." The jukebox had shifted to "Puppy Love" by the Osmonds, chasing away many of the already rare customers.

As soon as Mulder was off to the jukebox, the barman came back and offered John another drink. He accepted with a gesture that could almost be mistaken for a smile. In a sudden altruistic gesture, he ordered a beer for Mulder. He regretted it almost instantly, as soon as he heard Elvis Presley filling the bar with his deep voice. Mulder came back and took a sip from the beer.

"So John. Wassup?"

Doggett thought Mulder was drinking that beer way too fast and he seriously wished he wouldn't have to drag two drunken bodies out of the place.

"Oh, you know. Same old. People work. People fight. People throw heavy objects at each other and people divorce."

"I see."

Doggett nodded profusely and took another sip from his drink, trying to remember what exactly he had ordered and why he was telling all this to this man. A few minutes passed. Elvis succeeded to the Beatles and the bar emptied itself some more. Doggett turned his attention back to Mulder to realise the other man had been staring at his left hand awkwardly. He raised his eyes quickly as soon as he felt the heat of Doggett's gaze on his face. His gaze fluttered and he mumbled an apology around the head of his beer. Doggett raised his hand and showed him the pale band of skin on his ring finger.

"That's right, lover boy. I am divorced."

"I am sorry. You wanna talk about it?"

They looked at each other and smiled.

"No thanks. What I need is another drink." Doggett raised his hand to call up the bartender but Mulder stopped him.

"I don't think so."

Doggett mumbled something about "old enough" and "jackass" but didn't protest, squeezing Mulder's hand in a deathly grip without noticing.

"What happened to you, anyway? You cheated on your wife?" Doggett chuckled some more, or rather, giggled.

"Oh, you know." Mulder winced because Doggett was pressing his hand into the wooden bar. "People go to work. People get zealous. People get beaten up."

Doggett chuckled some more and absently took a sip from the new beer the bartender had just gotten Mulder. His expression suddenly became serious and he fixed incredibly well focused eyes on Mulder.

"Have you ever thought everything you have done wasn't who you are?"

Mulder frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Like..." Doggett paused an licked his lips, searching quickly for the bartender before turning his attention back to Mulder. "Like you wake up one day and you are a stranger to yourself? Sleeping in a stranger's bed with a stranger's woman speaking stranger's words." Doggett paused again, pulling his seat closer so his legs were touching Mulder's. He leaned forward in a secluding gesture. "But you know, that's not the worst."

"Oh?" Mulder shifted on his seat but he realised it was only pressing more of his thighs against Doggett's, so he stopped and leaned forward instead.

"Yeah like... The worst is that you realise you have no idea who you are and you probably never knew. Then I mean... what else is different in what you took for undeniable truth all your life?"

Doggett leaned backward and sighed dramatically, exhausted from his revelation. He searched for the bartender again but he was nowhere to be seen. He probably had found a way to escape from this hell hole.

"Don't search for the truth, John. It's an illusion."

"Why? Have you found it?"

Mulder smiled but it didn't succeed in reaching his eyes. His shoulders had slumped into weariness and his bruises seemed to have darkened suddenly.

"This is the face of someone who found the truth." He took Doggett's hand and pressed his fingertips lightly on the biggest bruise covering the right side of his face. The skin was rough, but warm, and Doggett could feel the soft caress of Mulder's breath on his palm. He trailed his fingers along the bruise, mapping the edges. He was transfixed by the multiples colors around the wound and the way the dim light was making them shimmer. He slowly let his fingers slip down until they reached soft lips and a bloodied cut on the middle bottom lip. He caressed it gently with his thumb and looked up in Mulder's eyes.

"I want some of it." With that he laid his hand on the back of Mulder's neck and pulled him forward until their lips met. Mulder's lips parted and he kissed Doggett back hungrily while clenching on the other man's sweater. Doggett tasted of many undefined alcoholic drinks but Mulder could still distinctly taste his unique spicy flavour. Something he thought he had forgotten. He slid his hand to Doggett's thigh while nibbling on his bottom lip and massages his way to his crotch. Doggett pulled away and grabbed Mulder's hand.

"I also have one for you." Mulder's whisper was so low Doggett almost didn't catch it. "Do you believe two people can be linked somehow? Something binding them into their genetics or personality, making it inevitable for them to meet again and again, whatever life brings on?"

Doggett grinned and released Mulder's hand.

"I think that's a bit too much of zen mumbo jumbo for me tonight."

Mulder's lips quivered into a faint smile.

"You wanna know why we always bump into each other? Because we just need it. Wasn't it what you told me last time we saw each other?"

Mulder grinned.

"I think it was less alcohol induced and more sex intended."

They both laughed, oblivious to the total lack of interest in their sexuality from their other customers.

Doggett laid his hand back on Mulder's thigh in a light, almost shy touch.

"Let's go somewhere, shall we?"

"Yes. This place is getting me cranky." Mulder grinned again and they both got up, lending some bills on the counter for their drinks.

The rain welcomed them as they exited the pub but it had become a warm and gentle mist, just wet enough to refresh them both. They walked in silence for several minutes. Mulder was absently following Doggett but he felt it was time to find out if the agent had any idea at all where they were going. He didn't need to ask anything because John had stopped in front of a building and was heading inside. Mulder shrugged and followed. It was a small building with only two apartments, one on each floor. Mulder watched patiently as Doggett fumbled around his pockets to find his keys, then fumbled with the key and lock. The door was unceremoniously kicked opened and Doggett stumbled into the apartment. Mulder followed silently, feeling incredibly ill at ease. The apartment wasn't big, but Mulder could still discern through the darkness an elaborate living room with big leather couches and delicate decoration settings. The room was also filled with carton boxes. Doggett had already crossed the space to the mini-bar and served two drinks. He set Mulder's on a nearby table and rolled his glass in his hand absently.

"I am moving." He just said, as if the simple words could suffice as an explanation. He took a long sip of the brown liquor and coughed a little.

"Listen John, maybe I should leave..."

Doggett snapped out of his reverie and raised his gaze at Mulder. The faint light coming from the window gave his blue eyes a pale softness reflecting on his features in a resigned and sad expression. He crossed the living room silently and laid his hand on Mulder's shoulder.

"Please. Stay."

Doggett kneaded Mulder's shoulder and bent forward to press his lips against the other man's once more. They kissed lightly for a brief moment, their lips barely touching and brushing against each other in a simple need of gentle contact. Doggett slid his hands under Mulder's coat and pushed it off his shoulders. Mulder pressed his body firmly against the other man's and wrapped his arms around him. All of Doggett's body was warm by the equally dizzying effects of arousal and alcohol. They quickly deepened the kiss as their need also deepened, their hands clumsily searching for more skin to reach. Doggett suddenly disentangled himself and stumbled backward, desperately trying to get his equilibrium back. He grinned at Mulder and quickly walked through the apartment until he reached the master bedroom, getting rid of his coat on the way. With a wider grin, he switched on the light and motioned to Mulder to join him. A huge bed occupied the center of the room, sheets neatly folded and many pillows awaiting for some action. Mulder had frozen uncertainly in the doorway, slightly taken aback by the scene of sacred matrimonial union unfolding before his eyes. Doggett seemed to sense the other man's indisposition and pressed himself once more against the hard body, this time fastening his mouth to the pulsing neck. Mulder relaxed and closed his eyes as Doggett rubbed his crotch against his, his erect cock painfully trapped in his pants and between their bodies. They both stumbled clumsily to the end of the bed. Doggett tried to get Mulder's pants unfastened but his hands slipped and they found themselves lying on the bed giggling like kids. Mulder groaned as Doggett moved and his erection was once again painfully trapped.

"What're you doin? You decided to finish up the job and kill me?"

Doggett chuckled.

"I am just thinking that with all the lights on and the blinds open, the neighbours are getting the full show."

Mulder turned his head and his gaze met a huge bay window reflecting their own features comically twisted with arousal and surprise. He laughed loudly then gave a little help to Doggett, who was trying to get off the bed without hitting his head against the wall. He slid the blinds shut while Mulder was getting his pants and underwear off with relief and pleasurable sigh. He smiled as he felt Doggett's weight pressing on the mattress and covering his body.

"Getting a bit ahead of yourself?" Doggett bent and licked Mulder's collarbone, he finished his path in tiny bites while he was rewarded by a deep moan.

"Just getting comfy." Mulder grinned and reached for Doggett's pants but the man stopped his progression by imprisoning the wrists in a light grip. The temperature in the room suddenly peaked at 40 degree Celsius and lowered in oxygen level at the same time. Doggett smiled and trailed his gaze up Mulder's body while making a great show of rubbing his clothed erection against the other man's. He released his wrists and laid his full body on Mulder's, nesting his nose on the hollow at the base of his neck. He felt Mulder swallowing nervously and took this opportunity to settle his mouth on the bobbing Adam's apple. A low growl was emitted from deep within the constricted throat. Doggett caressed the skin softly with his tongue before backing again to pull off the man's sweat soaked T-shirt. He stopped again to take a good look at what was presented to him.

"What are you doing?" Mulder sensed the scrutiny and frowned.

"Just taking a look at you." Doggett spoke softly. Then he added between two short breaths : "Touch yourself."

Mulder blinked several times at him. "What? God, John, you are more drunk than I thought."

He squirmed lightly, the heat of Doggett's gaze was making him uncomfortable. He was lying naked on the bed and the sheets were marking his skin with their burning seal. Despite it all, he surprised himself by laying a hot hand on his equally fuming chest, pausing along the way to trail his fingertips along his skin.

Doggett's eyes visibly darkened and his mouth opened to help more oxygen get into his deprived lungs. Mulder's eyes riveted on Doggett's face and trailed his hand higher until his fingers reached an erect nipple. He played with it gently at first, then pinched it a bit harder. He felt he was encouraged when he heard Doggett suck in his breath. He slid his body forward so he could wrap his legs around the other man's waist. He knew Doggett was as painfully hard as he was, yet the ex-Marine was deliberately pushing back the inevitable, even refusing to relieve his cock from his pants. Mulder grinned and closed his eyes. He had put a foot into the twilight zone and that was a field he knew. Challenge, strangeness, adventure, he lived for that. He trailed his hand downward this time, pulling Doggett closer to him with his legs at the same rate his hand was getting closer to his crotch. He was moaning in anticipation even before his hand reached his erection, something it never did because it found itself trapped again in Doggett's grip. Mulder's eyes snapped open.

The other man wrapped his fingers lightly around the fingers, rubbing his thumb absently along the skin. Mulder understood quickly and directed his trapped hand towards his cock again, wrapping it completely around his engorged member. He sucked on his breath and forced himself to settle down the trembles of his body. He was so over aroused he was very tempted to screw it and just jerk himself off but he was getting intoxicated by Doggett's touches and the last thing he wanted was to get cut off.

Doggett entwined his fingers with Mulder's, just barely brushing his fingertips against the overly sensitive skin of the man's dick. He also took the occasion to unzip his jeans and free his own erection. As soon as he was able to take a small relief breath, Mulder started pumping his own hand along his cock, bringing Doggett's along with it.

The movement was slow, very slow, and Doggett was deliberately slowing down Mulder's hand. The younger man's moans could be heard through his short intakes of breath, his chest raising chaotically. He used his legs around Doggett's hips as level to rub himself against the man lower body.

Doggett grinned and stopped their hands at Mulder's shaft, trailing his thumb over the head and swelling some precum around.

Mulder's other hand jumped back to tease his nipples, now in an instinctive gesture instead of from obedience. The other agent chose this moment to speed up the action, bringing both of their hands faster on the cock. Mulder arched his back and clutched tightly at Doggett's thigh, lifting his torso off the bed. Their hands were working furiously on Mulder's cock, slowing down just briefly on a few occasions, and only under Doggett's persistent grip. The younger man's body was shaking, holding his orgasm as much as he could but he was quickly losing the battle.

Doggett growled and tightened his grip on Mulder's hand, pumping his cock with two long and rough strokes. Mulder came instantly with an agonised moan, carelessly biting down on his bruised lip as his semen was spilled over both of their hands. He slumped back on the bed, bringing the other man on top of him. Mulder closed his eyes in blissful oblivion, while his body slowly calmed down and his breath returned to a more normal rate.

Doggett kissed his throat again to not lose his attention but the other man was just humming softly.

"Wow," Mulder managed to say. His throat was as rough and dry as the desert.

"Hey, it's not over yet," Doggett answered, pressing his leaking cock against Mulder's belly.

Mulder grinned stupidly and pressed the other man's body closer to him. Doggett groaned and got off the bed suddenly. He didn't know if it was the arousal's fever taking over his drunken state, but the alcohol in his body was making itself almost unknown to him.

"Where are you going?" Mulder had turned on his side, head propped in one head.

"Just getting some supplies. Don't go anywhere." He heard Mulder laugh as he entered his small bathroom. He opened the light and yanked his medicine cabinet open. He rummaged through the bottom of it until he reached the area of old and unwanted stuff. Here was the object of his attention, along some old liquid deodorant and shoe polish. The tube of lube was old but it's not like anything would stop him right now.

When he came into the room, Mulder was laying on his back with his eyes closed. Doggett quickly got rid of his T-shirt, jeans and underwear. Mulder obviously had already found his condom stack. Doggett grinned when he eyed what must have been at least half a dozen of rubbers on the bed. He climbed on the bed and covered the limp body with his. Mulder's eyes opened and he smiled.


Doggett kissed him passionately, savouring every inch of warmth. He could feel Mulder growing hard again against his own erection. He left the swollen lips to position himself over Mulder, knees at both of his sides and sitting on his heels.

"Hey." Doggett smiled back.

Mulder reached for the ex-Marine's erection and played with the head lightly, fingertips a cruel feather touch. Doggett moaned and opened the tube that had never left his hand. He poured half of the remaining contents on his fingers and bent down to kiss Mulder's belly. At the same time, one hand spread the younger man's legs to give access to his fingers. He probed gently at Mulder's opening, who shivered briefly from the cold, then grabbed Doggett's head as one finger was completely pushed inside. Mulder's moan made him bite on the soft belly; he was very close from losing it. He forced himself to enter a second finger slowly, drawing them in and out more quickly this time. He could feel Mulder's cock hardening some more against his cheek so he pressed his lips to the head and flicked his tongue against the sensitive skin.

Mulder jerked his hips upward, allowing Doggett to enter a third finger. He sucked on the cock head and worked his fingers faster and deeper. Mulder's hips came off the bed as the fingers probed his prostrate. He moaned loudly and pulled on Dogget's hair. The man took it as a signal and let Mulder's cock go and retrieved his fingers. He grabbed a condom and unrolled it on himself in a blink of an eye. When he reached for the lube, he noticed Mulder was already pouring some on his own fingers. Doggett grinned.


Mulder gave him a surly look and grabbed Doggett's cock quickly, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the man. He pumped his hand a few times to spread the lube.

Doggett groaned and pushed the hand away before their little party finished right there. He took one of Mulder's leg and raised it over his shoulder, leaning forwards just a bit so his cock was just poking at the exposed opening. Mulder groaned in exasperation and pushed his hips downward until the cock head was stretching his ring of muscles. They both groaned deeply when Doggett pushed his full length inside in one slow thrust.

He took a few seconds to adjust then started a slow rhythm, pulling almost all the way out with each trusts. Both of their cries surprised them ; they had forgotten how intense it could be. Each thrust was sending Mulder over the edge, his prostrate pounded again and again, while Doggett had lost the faculty to see from the overwhelming sensation. He closed his eyes and slowed his rhythm briefly to prevent himself from coming right away, but Mulder was moving down to meet his trusts, annulling his efforts. So he settled for a blinding pounding, going deeper and deeper with each trust. He wrapped his hand around Mulder's engorged member and felt him stiffen around his own cock. He pumped Mulder's cock with the same velocity he was filling him until a shudder possessed them and they started cumming. Doggett slumped back on Mulder, his hand still trapped on the man's member, his semen hitting them both on their stomachs. He thrust into Mulder a few more times before pulling out. The condom was thrown away carelessly, making a mess for tomorrow, and Doggett rolled on his back beside Mulder.

The last things he would remember the day after was the fact that Mulder was asleep even faster than he was, and a faint, but useless hope that the other man would still be there in the morning.


End of chapter 3


Release, by Neige + Chapter 4 : I Want The World To Wake

May 2001

Doggett entered the office with a steaming mug in his hand. He had passed the last 30 minutes trying to make his way through the jungle the Bureau had became. You couldn't turn a corner without hitting yourself on a big fat rumour. Not to mention the side glances he was getting everywhere he went. Like he didn't have enough of being Mr. X. Well, not anymore anyway. Talking of Mr. X, guess who was yet again sitting at the desk like all world belonged to him? You guessed right. He sighed in his mug, making the steam twirl back to hit his face full force. He was already bracing himself for what was about to come.

Mulder was at the desk, bent over an open file. The desk was covered with various files and paper, some empty coffee cups and tons of sunflower shells. Just what Doggett needed, a restless Mulder. The man raised his head slowly as soon as he heard Doggett approach. He was given the same look of disdain mixed with indifference, and something more sensitive like hatred or annoyance. Today it was definitely the annoyance winning. Doggett knew this was another loaded situation and he should use every once of his self-control and diplomacy to get out of here in one piece. After thoughts, the jungle upstairs fighting for his attention and secret revelations didn't seem like such a bad alternative.

Mulder closed some files and moved some things around his desk, knocking over many sunflower shells that fell on the floor in tiny irritating sounds. Doggett gritted his teeth. A good thing he never saw Mulder chewing on them before or he would have never... Don't think of that, it was before and now you have a cocky-constantly-pissed-egocentric-agent glaring at you from your own office.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Well, so much for diplomacy, John.

Mulder purposefully finished chewing on his sunflower seeds than bent to spit it loudly in the garbage can. He closed some more files, trailing his fingers along the paper to straighten them. Doggett thought the Violent Crimes department could hear his teeth gritting all the way to the sixth floor.

"I am just catching up on what you guys did ." He paused to throw some more seeds into his mouth. "Some cases are... interesting." The last bit was said with an edge and a clear sneer. Doggett gripped his coffee mug so tightly his skin was getting lightly burnt by the heat radiating from the hot liquid through the ceramic.

"Oh, really?" Doggett walked through the small office and laid his coffee on a filing cabinet, grabbing a pile of files on his way. He browsed though them absently, mostly to look busy and to discourage Mulder from talking to him. He felt Mulder shift behind him, preparing his first blow, Doggett decided to beat him to it. He turned around sharply and dropped his files in front of the other agent. He leaned forward and laid both of palms on them, his eyes perfectly level with Mulder's.

"Why don't you spill what your problem is, Agent Mulder?"

Mulder froze in surprise for a split of a second, and as he was about to recover, Doggett cut him off.

"I really want to feel all sorry and compassionate for your loss of the X-Files and yadayada. But the thing is, this is Agent Scully and I's department. And if the only thing you do here is lurk around and do your little critical routine, I suggest you get the fuck out because I don't tolerate such behavior. We are trying to work here." Doggett watched as Mulder's face seemed to expand and considerably change color to a bright crimson. He got up slowly and Doggett shifted back, so his gaze never left the other man's.

"You call this work?" Mulder pushed Doggett's stack of files off the desk, where it went sprawling on the floor. "I read all of the so-called investigations you did while on the X-Files, and the only thing that sorts out is that Scully had to do the job because your head was too deeply in your ass."

"Are you questioning my methods of investigation, Agent Mulder?" Doggett snarled.

"Your methods of investigation? I would if you had any. The problem is that you have none. You don't belong in this office. Kersh sent you to discredit the X-Files and that's exactly what you are doing."

"Oh PUH-lease. If I hear any of this bullshit again, I am going to puke. I did my best on every case and it was a DAMN good job. Maybe Kersh sent me to bring the X-Files down but I never followed his petty games. You are just mad because someone with a critical mind who doesn't believe in everything paranormal took YOUR job and did as good as you at it, if not better."

"I am mad because someone with a closed mind is in charge of keeping the X-Files afloat and, in the meantime, destroying everything Scully and I did for seven years."

That's when Scully chose to enter. She stopped halfway through her trip to the desk and looked at them with a raised eyebrow. Doggett took a deep breath and turned around to smile a greeting. Mulder seemed also to regain his composure by letting go of the air he was holding and by slowly sitting down again. He saluted Scully and opened another file. He dove his gaze into it, his intentions clear about his will to not meet the eyes of anybody else for a while.

Doggett kneeled down to gather up his files while Scully awkwardly walked to the cabinet and retrieved some more of them. Doggett wondered how she could have made her way through the thick wall of mixed feelings between him and Mulder. The room was practically buzzing with bad vibrations. Both men jumped when Scully closed the drawer brusquely.

"Ok. That's it. This is down right childish and stupid. I am going to go work somewhere else because the atmosphere in this office is polluted."

"Scully..." Mulder began, looking up at her.

"I don't want to hear anything. Or you get along, or you don't get together at all. Either way, I really don't care at this point, but the situation has to change. See ya later." With that she quickly left the office without a second look.

Doggett got up from his crouched position and set his eclectic stack of files on the desk. Mulder was still looking at the door where Scully had disappeared.

"Listen...Mulder..." Mulder glanced up to meet Doggett's gaze. His features were less tight than earlier, but not kinder.

"Forget it, John. It's just not gonna work." He quickly got up, stuffing the remaining of his case file's papers into the folio. He stopped when he noticed Doggett was smiling.

"What?" Mulder snapped.

"You called me John."

Mulder looked speechless for a short moment, but his hazel eyes hardened and he cocked his chin defiantly.

"Is that what this is about? You think since we had that..." He waved his hand in the air. "That...*thing,* that I should treat you differently? That I should have mercy on the man who stole the X-Files from me?"

Doggett shook his head and sighed.

"What I think is that you are not fighting with me because I am the closed minded guy who will destroy your precious X-Files, or whatever. You are angry because it's me, and not someone else. Because you just can't hate me without conditions. You are angry because you want to despise me, but you can't. You know I am no treat. You know *me*."

Mulder's face shut down completely and that's how Doggett knew he had hit right. But the Agent said nothing and just walked past him, out of the room.


The rest of the day went agonisingly slow for Doggett. He had no idea where Mulder and Scully had went, but he didn't see them again. He was left alone in the basement to do some paperwork he had absolutely no desire to do. He sighed and got up. He grabbed his keys laying on the desk and headed for the door. Then to Alexandria.


As soon as he parked his car in front of Mulder's building, a wave of queasiness hit him. He had been here not less than a few months ago, when his world was stumbling, but not yet upside down. Now everyday he woke up and felt like he never left a dream. For the thousandth time, he wondered how Mulder and Scully could have coped for seven years with such strange events happening in their life. With a strong resolution, he got out of his car and inside the building. It was very quiet and he made it to the elevator without hearing or seeing any sign of life. By the time he reached 42, his resolution hadn't faded, but his guts had wrenched from a strong deja vu feeling. Doggett swallowed hard and knocked on the door. At first, he heard nothing and began to think Mulder might not be home. But soon after he heard some rustling sounds and the unmistakable sound of a cocking gun. Another silence followed and he knew the man was looking through the peep hole.

"Mulder, let me in."

More silence, but Doggett was sure he could hear breathing punctuating his own from behind the door. Finally, the door slid open, slightly at first, then all the way, brusquely.

"What do you want?" The tone was slurred and Doggett wondered if Mulder had been sleeping.

"We need to talk."

Mulder seemed to take time to think, while absently biting on his lower lip. Then, he just shrugged and moved aside to let Doggett enter. The room was almost completely dark, only a lonely lamp in the living room was casting some kind of light into the apartment. Doggett noticed the fishes hadn't been replaced and the aquarium was laying empty of everything on its small table. Mulder turned on some lights as they entered the living room. It allowed Doggett to see why the aquarium had been deserted. Most of the furniture was missing or misplaced. The few left were huddled into an undefined mass, except for the long couch that was still standing at his usual place. Even the tv was nowhere to be seen. Doggett was taken out of his contemplation by the feeling of Mulder's presence just behind him. He turned around and set his cold blue scrutinising gaze on the man's features.

"What do you want, John?" Mulder repeated, obviously this time not caring what using Doggett's first name could mean.

"I..." Doggett lost for a moment the reason of his visit. Instead he asked the obvious question. "Are you alright?"

Mulder blinked several times.

"Why are you here?"

Good thing Doggett never thought it would be easy. "I think we should set a truce, and...talk?"

Mulder smirked. "We have nothing to say. *I* have nothing to tell you. Now if you could just leave me alone..."

"Dammit, Mulder! I am making an effort here. Help me a bit."

"I don't know what you are looking for, but you won't find it here." On that, Mulder turned his back to him, walked to his apartment door and reached to open it. Doggett crossed the distance with long strides and slapped his hand on the slowly opening door, shutting it brusquely. Mulder settled fierce eyes on him.

"I am not leaving until we get to some agreement."

"Agreement about what?" Mulder leaned forward until they both could feel each other's breath on their face.

"Agreement about us, about the..."

"Us? There is no us! We are not friends. I don't like you, Agent Doggett, and if you really want to know, I didn't have a second thought about you since we last met, years ago."

"Who are you trying to fool? I saw my old T-shirt in your drawer."

That really took Mulder aback. He opened his mouth wide, then closed it shut. His features tightened once more, showing off some tiny wrinkles Doggett didn't remember. It seemed so long ago now.

"You went through my personal stuff? How dare you!" Mulder was shouting, his placid facade falling down as quickly as his breath was speeding up.

"I was assigned to find you! It was my job to get to know you better, to get inside your head." Doggett snapped back almost as loudly. Then he sighed and continued, almost whispering : "I tried to forget everything, and I thought I had succeeded. Even when I saw the T-shirt, even when I went to your funeral and saw you, all decomposed in that damn coffin, I thought I had forgotten, got over it." He leaned even closer, until every inch of warmth coursing through Mulder's very much alive body could radiate directly into him. "But when I saw you back to life..." His voice was lowered to a soft puff of air on Mulder's heated skin. "I knew I was wrong." All colors drained from Mulder's face and he stumbled slightly on his feet. Doggett took the opportunity to wrap an arm around his waist and plant a light kiss on the pulsing vein in his neck. The younger man stiffened at first than relaxed with a sigh, also nesting his face against Doggett's throat. He inhaled deeply and Doggett smiled softly against his skin. They didn't know how long they stood that way, but it was one rare moment of filled silence for both of them.


End of Chapter 4

Chapter 5 coming soon

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Archived: January 11, 2002