Summary: Mulder finds out about Krycek's arm
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Can't afford to buy 'em. Characters lovingly borrowed from Carter/1013/Fox.
Author's notes: This has been kicking around in my head a while and with the recent talk about 'gluing' Alex's arm back, well... ...and then I found this word and it just reminded me of the boys so much! Um... This may be a little twisted.
Acrotomophile - A person who is aroused by the thought of having sex with an amputee or by fantasizing about it.
- Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices
He hadn't expected to run into Mulder again. Not here. Not now. Not after the disaster in Russia. Not after he had had his arm cut off, sans anesthetic, making him feel clumsy and off-balance.
Their encounter now was more by accident than design. Alex had been in Washington, casually leaving the warehouse after his meeting with his informant, when low and behold, there was Mulder.
Shit! Shitshitshit! He didn't need this. But there was no way to avoid the man.
Alex raised the gun in caution, trying to keep Mulder on the other side of the room. But Mulder was having none of it. He took another step forward. Alex shook his head in warning. Mulder kept coming until he was right in front of Alex. Another step brought him closer still, invading his personal space until Alex was forced to either step back, lower the weapon, or shoot the dumb bastard.
Somehow Alex restrained his finger from twitching over the trigger, and felt himself give ground. He was forced to retreat until he was backed up against a wall. Mulder still followed, pressing close. But Mulder surprised him when he made no move for the gun. Instead his hands went to Alex's waist, holding him in place as he leaned close to Alex's ear.
"I like it."
Alex frowned, pulling his head back, almost thumping it against the concrete, and stared at Mulder's face. Tooclosetooclose! Alex was distracted by the look on Mulder's face. A look he couldn't place yet. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Mulder reached up with his right hand in response, smoothing the palm over Alex's jacket. The empty sleeve of Alex's jacket.
Alex's nearly dropped his gun in surprise. He stared hard into the hazel eyes but all he could detect was rising excitement. His eyebrows rose and he blinked in astonishment. "You... you LIKE it?" Then anger flared. "Well, of course YOU do! They didn't cut off YOUR arm, you asshole!"
"No! It's not that. It's just that..." his voice trailed off. "God, Alex, it's so... so..." Mulder's voice held awed reverence. He let his hand move under the leather, skimming over Alex's shirt and chest and up to the shoulder. Gently he eased the jacket off the shoulder, revealing the truncated limb below.
"Ugly, you mean?" His face flushed with anger and embarrassment. Damn Mulder for putting him through this.
"NO! Oh no, baby. It's just so... erotic."
Alex released a small, exasperated sigh, anger washing away in one breath. "Mulder..."
But Mulder was ignoring him, too intent on revealing the mutilated flesh. Swiftly he started on Alex's buttons, barely restraining himself from simply ripping the shirt open and letting it fall to the floor.
"Did it hurt? Can you move it? Can I touch it?" Mulder's hand moved down his shoulder, fingers lightly tracing over the stump. Mulder kissed it and Alex jumped, sucking in a startled breath.
"No... No. I... no, it doesn't hurt. Well... sometimes."
Mulder kissed it again, tongue lightly touching the ragged flesh. Alex almost sobbed with tension. And then Mulder kissed it again and Alex felt a nervous chuckle start deep in his chest. "GOD, Mulder! I thought you would be repulsed." His finger brushed over Mulder's cheek. "Instead..." Alex took a ragged breath, "Instead, you have the curiosity of a child."
"But it's a part of you." He said it like it was the only reasonable explanation in the world. Like saying that Alex had green eyes.
Mulder leaned forward and kissed the hollow in Alex's neck then followed the smooth skin out to the stump again. Alex felt all the hairs on his body stand on end. Mulder slipped his tongue into the cavity of Alex's armpit and Alex jumped. Shit! How the hell could an armpit be erogenous? But Mulder was touching him again, laving his tongue over the puckered flesh, tracing over the scar tissue. "Can you flex it?"
Alex straightened his stump out. He heard Mulder give a happy sigh and lean in to him. He could feel Mulder's erection pressing into his leg. The gun fell to the floor with a clatter.
"Move it around."
Alex rolled his shoulder joint and he felt Mulder's cock leap at the sight.
"Oh god, Alex. I want you so bad."
Alex just stared at him. "I can't believe this! This is turning you on!"
"Oh, yeah," Mulder's reply was low and breathy.
"Christ, Mulder, you know you are a sick and twisted, little fuck."
Mulder's lips met his. "Yeah, but I'm your sick and twisted, little fuck." Mulder reached for the buttons of his Levi's, parting them swiftly. Alex felt himself harden as Mulder's hand slipped inside and caressed him.
Alex brought his hand up to the nape of Mulder's neck and pulled him into a ferocious kiss. Mulder groaned into his mouth, one hand stroking him steadily, the other lightly playing over the amputation. Alex felt Mulder's hips rock forward, his cock straining to be free. Clumsily he reached down and freed Mulder's cock. Mulder groaned again.
Quickly they divested themselves of clothes, tossing them carelessly onto the hard floor to act as an impromptu bed. Alex sighed happily as Mulder made slow passionate love to him. He had feared that no one would ever want him again, that they wouldn't be able to see past his disability. Leave it to Mulder to not only see past it, but to be turned on by the very thought of it.
Afterwards they lay back on their makeshift bed caressing one another. Alex had to shake his head when Mulder continued to stroke and touch his stump.
"You know why they did it, don't you?" Alex hear Mulder softly ask.
"Not really. Maybe they just wanted to make me a part of their club. There was a whole group of them."
"No. They were trying to SAVE you."
"Save me?" Alex asked, incredulous. "By cutting off my arm? With no anesthetic!"
"They thought they were saving you from the tests. If you didn't have the small pox vaccination scar, you didn't get tested."
"How do you know?"
"The people who found me wanted to save me, too."
Alex shuddered at the thought. His beautiful Mulder, disfigured. One set of those long tapered fingers gone. Lying in a decaying pile of flesh on the forest floor. Alex trembled again.
"Did I tell you that I always wanted a peg leg? I don't know why. I guess I just thought, you know, that people wouldn't expect as much out of me. You know?" Mulder's fingers continued to explore the area, following the outlines of the truncated flesh.
"My favorite show was 'The Fugitive.' My favorite books were 'Moby Dick' and 'Treasure Island.' Be my Ahab, my pirate, Alex." Alex watched as Mulder tongue skimmed over his lower lip, as if wetting it in anticipation.
Alex kissed him again. "Why did you want to be disfigured?"
"I guess I just thought that it would be so much easier, you know? If people could see your scars. See your pain. Then they could forgive you for it. Make allowances. Not expect you to be the perfect child, the perfect son. The perfect agent. If all your pain is on the inside then it's invisible. They can't see the crappy childhood. The broken heart. The tattered soul. The scars on your psyche. Part of me has been missing since I was twelve. A part that I search for everyday. But people can't know that just by looking at you. The loss of your soul, the loss of your childhood is not nearly so obvious. So they expect you to continue. To carry on. Even though you feel like you barely have the strength to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes it just seems so unfair."
Alex hugged him close, wrapping his one good arm around him, lightly caressing him with his fingers. "Your right, Mulder. People look at you and all they see is the outside. A handsome guy who seems to have it all. Good job. Good looks. Intelligence. Wealthy family. From the outside it looks like you have everything."
Mulder kissed him again. "And now I do, Alex. Now I have everything."
People may become attracted to amputees for many reasons. These include fetishes, vicarious sadism, low self-esteem, a legitimate excuse for poor performance, respect for an amputee's adjustment to a handicap, need to rescue and care for an amputee, and fear that this loss could happen to them.
- Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices
"You know, Mulder, you ARE Ahab."
"You know it's interesting that you should say that because I've always wanted a peg leg. It's a boyhood thing I never grew out of. No, I'm not being flippant. And I've given this a lot of thought. If you have a peg leg or hooks for hands, you know, maybe it's enough to simply carry on living. Bravely facing life with your disability. It's heroic just to survive but without these things you're actually expected to make something of life. Achieve something. Earn a raise. Wear a necktie. So... so... so, if anything I'm actually the antithesis of Ahab because if I did have a peg leg I would quite possibly be more happy and more content and not feel the need to chase after these creatures of the unknown."
'The Talk on the Rock'