Slashx: 24 July 1998
Archive/X: 27 July 1998

Title: How Long
Author: J. C. Sun
Category: VAO
Rating: R
Summary: How long?

---

So it's you and me, Alex, you and me staring back from the mirror.

You and me.

You.

And me.

That sweet little mouth.

Long eyelashes.

Dainty nose and pretty eyes.

All pure and nice and sweet.

So, how long has it been since you rammed a gun down a man's throat?

How long since you washed your hands and watched the sink turn faint, diluted crimson?

How long has it been since you smiled softly at Mulder and ran your hand down his flank and held him tight?

How long has it been it since you took his mouth underneath yours, folded it ever so gently and ran your tongue across every blossom?

How long did it take you to have Fox William fucking Mulder naked on the floor of his apartment, ass in the air, and the line of his back piously clean, long, from the splayed ankles to the silver glitter of his out-turned wrists in the handcuffs?

How long has it been since you ran your hands down the creases of his ass and slid in, hands on the bony protruberance of his pelvis and watched the vertabrae of his spine contort and compress as he screamed his way to an orgasm?

How long has it been since you flicked the cuffs open and took Mulder's sweaty, glistening body in your arms and watched him breath, slowly, carefully, chest heaving and see those brittle green eyes turn to soft moss and the warm smile playing across his lips as he rubbed his face against your clothed abdomen and kiss your knee through the jeans, murmuring, almost weeping your name?

How long has it been since you laid Mulder out on his bed, cleared away the junk and smoothed the sheets, fluffed his pillows and pulled the blanket over him and sat there in the armchair and watched him fall asleep soft and innocent and as malleably pure, oh so very pure?

How long has it been since you watched him sleep, pure and sweet and young beyond any hope of redemption and you sat there and thought that there could be no thing better or more beautiful than this, to be loved like this?

How long was it from then to the point where you walked into his kitchen and made a phone a call?

How long was it from that time to the time when you told your boss that the papers were under the driver's floor mat in Mulder's car?

How long was it from that time to the time when you told your owner that Mulder had spoken to Anderson and he must be eliminated?

How long was it from that time to the time when you told the fucking devil himself that Mulder was under control and that you had gained his trust?

How long?

And how long have you been standing in Mulder's bathroom, looking at yourself, afraid to go back out because you know that if he says one word to you about the cases, about the consortium and the traitor he suspects is embedded within the FBI, you're going to blurt it all out, stand there and tell him everything and weep like a child?

And how long have you laid your head against the cool tiling and closed your eyes because you couldn't stand seeing yourself in the mirror?

How long have you been listening to the still, calm, tranquil silence?

How long can you keep making those reports?

How long can you stay in here, Alex?

How long?

How long?

.end

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