Author: Alicia Thiele
Title: Two on the Mountain
TotalParts: 1
Status: Complete
Pairings: M/K
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Very slightly for the late myth (both late in chronology and ... you know).
Summary: Mulder, Krycek, some cigarettes, and the end of the world. Written out as a play.
AuthorNotes: This was inspired by "Amor Fati", so having seen it will probably help. Also inspired by Paul Auster's "Hand to Mouth", but you don't need to read that one. Don't take it all too ... um ... literally.
Fox Mulder, an FBI-agent
Alex Krycek, a spy

Darkness. Slowly a spotlight comes onto Mulder and Krycek, sitting on the floor in the left corner, shoulder almost against shoulder and leaning their backs against a dark rock. The stage is otherwise bare and dark.

Krycek takes out a pack of cigarettes from the inner pocket of his leather jacket, lights one for himself, and offers one to Mulder who is sitting on Krycek's right, wearing a dress-suit, very obviously doing his best to ignore the other man.

KRYCEK : Want one?


KRYCEK : (Accusingly.) I asked you a question.

(Mulder turns to look at Krycek, then down at the cigarette being offered him. He takes it after some consideration, but backs away as Krycek offers him light from the cigarette hanging from his mouth.)

MULDER : Your lighter.

(Krycek hands it over, Mulder lights his cigarette, takes a few swallows.)

MULDER : I didn't know you smoked.


(Silence. Each look away from one another, Krycek takes a few deep sips and ashes by his feet, Mulder lets the cigarette hang between his fingers.)

KRYCEK : (Gazing around.) So we are here again, then.

MULDER : (Looks up.) We've never been here before.

KRYCEK : Yes we have. Scully's abduction and the deal, remember?

MULDER : You never made it up here. To the top. (Pause.) And how do you dare bringing that up? I'm genuinely curious; the things you choose to ... you're amazing.

KRYCEK : Thank you. But actually I was making conversation; we do happen to be the last two people on earth.

MULDER : We are not.

KRYCEK : Well, no. And then, technically, yes.

(Mulder considers this for a while, but finally pulls on his cigarette and shakes his head.)

MULDER : Let's change the subject. What are you doing here?

KRYCEK : Waiting.


KRYCEK : Aren't you?

MULDER : I suppose.

KRYCEK : All we ever do is wait.

MULDER : Drop the "we". I wasn't waiting, I was acting. Not like you.

KRYCEK : (Laughing.) You're right.

MULDER : What did you think you were doing, anyway, Krycek?

KRYCEK : I was waiting.

MULDER : (Frowning.) Fuck you, Krycek, fuck you.

(Mulder stands, grabbing his hair with one hand. He walks to the left, almost out of the scene. Krycek follows him with his eyes. Mulder suddenly turns and walks back pass Krycek, and closer to the center of the scene, almost stepping out of the spotlight.)

KRYCEK : (Calmly.) Mulder.

(Mulder stops. Silence.)

KRYCEK : Don't go there.

MULDER : There's nowhere else to go.

(Krycek sighs, his shoulders sinking visibly.)

KRYCEK : Why do you always have to go somewhere?

(Mulder turns to face Krycek.)

MULDER : And what's your problem? Always digging yourself into a rathole? You are so comical, Krycek, really.

KRYCEK : Come here and sit down; you aren't thinking clearly. There's nothing there, remember?

MULDER : Here is nothing I'd call something.

(The two stare at each other for a long moment, but eventually Mulder moves to sit at his original spot.)

KRYCEK : There's time.

MULDER : If there are no changes how can time be measured? Before the Big Bang there were no time. If Big Bang took place, I mean.

KRYCEK : Oh, it did.

MULDER : You'd know. How old were you and your cigarette lovin' big daddy at the time? Got any stories to tell for this lovely winter afternoon?

KRYCEK : If there were no time I couldn't be any age.

MULDER : Smart-ass.

(Silence. Krycek finishes his cigarette and crushes it by his feet.)

KRYCEK : We do have time. (Pause.) But not much of it. But you knew.

MULDER : What do you want to do that's obviously so urgent?

KRYCEK : Nothing much. Wait.

MULDER : I am not going to fuck you, so you can quit waiting for that.

KRYCEK : Shame.

MULDER : Fuck off.

KRYCEK : Can't. Nowhere to go. Your photographic memory doesn't seem to be working too well tonight. Maybe you should file a complaint.

MULDER : (Considers.) How do you know it's night?

KRYCEK : I'm wearing a watch.

MULDER : So am I, but it could be two in the afternoon.

KRYCEK : Ah. Careless mistake. Forgive me.

(Mulder suddenly gets up on his knees and reaches out for Krycek's collar. Grabbing hold, he forces Krycek down onto the ground.)

MULDER : You know something, don't you? You fucking know something!

(Krycek grabs Mulder's wrists, wriggling to get out of the grip. He is not much successful.)

MULDER : (Louder.) Tell me, you son of a bitch! (Slaps Krycek.) I'm tired of this, you hear me?! I tried! I *fucking* tried! What did you do? What did you do?! You ...

(Mulder rises his right hand, fists it, and is about to hit. Krycek lets go of Mulder's left hand, still around his neck, and grabs hold of the fist coming down at him.)


(Mulder flinches and pulls away from Krycek, snapping his hands off the lying man, then sits, his back on Krycek; Krycek lies, panting. Neither speak. Eventually, Krycek collects his breath and rises his body and wipes his mouth.)

KRYCEK : (In a murmur.) I know you tried.

MULDER : (Snapping.) What?

(Krycek is silent, and moves slowly back to his original spot, back against the rock.)

MULDER : (Calmer.) What did you say?

KRYCEK : I said, I know you tried.

(Mulder turns to look at Krycek. Slowly, he reaches out with his left hand and places it on Krycek's neck. Krycek startles, but doesn't move away.)

MULDER : If you knew ...

(Mulder trades off, moves his hand away, and leans back onto the rock.)

MULDER : Then why the fuck am I here, with you? With *you*.

KRYCEK : Nothing ever changes, Mulder.

MULDER : I don't believe that. And I don't believe that you do.

KRYCEK : (Sigh. Laugh.) You have too high an opinion of me. As you pointed out, I know something. Some things.

MULDER : And that would be?

KRYCEK : It doesn't matter now.

MULDER : But it mattered before.

KRYCEK : No. No, it didn't. Nothing ever changes.

MULDER : I hate you.

KRYCEK : See, that's another thing that never changes.

(Silence. Krycek turns to look at Mulder, Mulder to look at Krycek. Krycek shakes his head slowly.)

KRYCEK : Truths don't change. It doesn't matter how much you lie about it or how much you sell out of it, just like you can't go forcing something if it's not right. What I know doesn't matter.

(Silence. Their heads slowly move closer.)

MULDER : This is not the truth. (Pause.) I know that.

KRYCEK : It doesn't matter, Mulder. It's over.

MULDER : Then what are you waiting for?

(Their lips meet, Mulder closing his eyes, Krycek tilting his head further and pushing up against Mulder. They are both silent. After a short moment they part and look away from each other, glancing around the stage. Eventually, Mulder stands.)

MULDER : I'll see you around.

(Mulder moves pass Krycek and without hesitation out of the light. Krycek doesn't look after him. Silence. Ten seconds.)

KRYCEK : (Sigh.) So we are here again, then.

(The background flashes red, a cracker is heard, and the scene fades to black.)